Blessed Morning

Originality in Creativity

2011-06-03T14:00:00.001-05:00

The idea that I have original ideas in my head has often bothered me. You see, mainly it has bothered me because it causes me to believe that I'm somehow required to have original ideas. I like having them. I enjoy being the source of things that no one has ever thought of. Also, I enjoy the ego boost. However, the problem with this line of thinking is that it gives me great fear. This fear involves being haunted by the possibility that something I've read or heard, seen or swallowed somehow will regurgitate back up and onto my work. My creativity is just bile. Why would I fear this? Well, I fear it because I don't like being dependent for one. I also don't like being accused of plagarism. Basically I don't like being lame. And copying someone else's awesomeness is just lame. Lame in the literal sense. I'm using them as a crutch so I can walk around and survive. Whenever this line of thinking finds me spiraling into self-analysis I have to remember, the words I'm using to express my thoughts weren't invented by me. The grammar I'm using to organize my words wasn't invented by me. The computer I'm using to type the grammar that's organizing the words, was not built or created by me. Finally, the brain I'm using to to make my fingers type (which are made of borrowed material from food my parents or I ate) was derived from the mind of God. I have no way of being original. My fear has no basis. I am derivative. Originality is a desire I can only fulfill by ignoring my nature. I'm completely a copy. Somehow, though, I'm not. I am an individual and that makes what I say, and how I say it, mine. When I spout forth creations, they are mine. This essay is mine even if it may resemble a thousand others. I wrote it. I mashed it on keys with my derivative fingers. I'm not required to have original ideas, I just will. Even though I'm a thing that has dependencies and borrow-cies, I make original things simply by making things. It's difficult to get past this analysis, but I plan on just doing it.

Perspective

2011-02-09T09:57:00.003-05:00

If you were looking for another post on Celebration of Discipline, it's coming, just give me a week.

After the community group leaders dinner last night I came away with a nice nugget of knowledge. Juliana said that she loves Jesus because he always provides her with perspective. Perspective on the situations she's in and how they relate to Him.

This got me thinking about an analogy I read. Where this guy is given the choice between two plays to act in. The first acting job is on Broadway and is a small role where he would be barely noticed, but he would be acting alongside or at least on the same stage with a very famous, big-star. The second acting job is his own production, one where he'd be the star, playing the lead role, and be seen by his friends and family, but the audience wouldn't extend beyond that.

What Juliana said reminded me of this and it reminded me that I have that choice everyday. I can choose to star in my own play and be the lead actor, or I can choose to humble myself and act in Jesus story.

This whole earth was made by Him and for Him. He graciously allows us to act alongside him, or act on our own. By acting alongside him, I lose out on fame and glory, but I gain so much more.

Today, I want to live life in His story and be living my life as a part of His play.

Celebration of Discipline: Chapter 2 - Meditation

2011-01-19T16:21:00.004-05:00

Wow, I never really understood what meditation was for, nor why I should ever do it.
The main idea is this: Leave space to think and ponder things. Without this, especially in our world, your mind will eventually become a mess of thoughts with no meaning.

He says that meditation "very simply, is the ability to hear God's voice and obey his word." He also differentiates meditation from Eastern religion to explain that

"Christian meditation goes far beyond the notion of detachment...detachment is not enough; we must go on to attachment. The detachment from the confusion all around us is in order to have a richer attachment to God. Christian meditation leads us to the inner wholeness necessary to give ourselves to God freely."

Meditation, by his definition ends up being the means by which God speaks to you. As you clear away distractions and listen to God, you'll find you hear him clearly and can then obey his leading. He goes on to explain that meditation can be combined with the imagination because God "uses images we know and understand to teach us about the unseen world of which we know so little and which we find so difficult to understand."

Finally he goes into explaining that we should meditate on four main things: Scripture, our minds, nature, and the world/age we live in. Scripture is obvious and he goes into ideas about how to study it, focusing on small (one verse) portions. Our minds are something we should "re-collect" and he gives a process of releasing anxieties, bitterness, unforgiveness, etc. through a process of prayer and declaration. Nature is suggested because meditation on nature allows you to reflect on what God made. He says

"Look at the trees...take a flower and allow its beauty and symmetry to sink deep into your mind and heart...sometimes God reaches us profoundly in these simple ways if we will quiet ourselves and listen."

Finally he says to meditate on the "...events of our time." He says "We have a spiritual obligation to penetrate the inner meaning of events, not to gain power but to gain prophetic perspective."

All of this is to help us reorient our minds to hear God's voice and obey what he says to do or think about. By steady and consistent meditation we can do just that.

Celebration of Discipline: Intro and Chapter 1

2011-01-17T09:39:00.007-05:00

The thing about my life as a Christian is that most of it has been a swath of ignorance puncuated by moments of awesome revelation. I mean to say that I'm oblivious for days, weeks, or even months at a time and then suddenly I get it. I'm awake to my current state and I'm left wondering why I ever was asleep. This book Celebration of Discipline has brought one of those moments.

I started reading it because the title so appealed to me that I couldn't ignore it. Discipline is something that I like the idea of but I never subject myself to its boundaries and therefore never experience its benefits. That's what I'm seeing in my future. The main benefit being an unexpected liberation. I say "unexpected" but if you think about it, discipline in children leads ultimately to their liberation as adults that successfully function in society. A lack of discipline now could lead in the end, to more dire consequences from societies laws. The spiritual disciplines applied now, I hope, will lead to a continual freedom in the Spirit that I've only experienced on occasion up til now.

Why do I dare to hope this will happen? Because what the first chapter teaches. It teaches something that I have constantly practiced. The author says, after referencing Colossians 2:20-23, "The moment we feel we can succeed and attain victory over sin by the strength of our will alone is the moment we are worshiping the will. Isn't it ironic that Paul looks at our most strenuous efforts in the spiritual walk and calls them idolatry 'will worship'?"

I had practiced this 'will worship' for some time and tried very hard to make every effort to stop sinning. Since God called me to be perfect as my heavenly father is perfect, I tried to. Eventually I realized the great Grace that God had given and stood corrected. Grace meant I didn't have to try to be perfect, in fact I believed I didn't have to try at all. Here is where this book gives me hope because he says

"The moment we grasp this breathtaking insight we are in danger of an error in the opposite direction. We are tempted to believe there is nothing we can do. If all human strivings end in moral bankruptcy (and having tried it, we know it is so), and if righteousness is a gracious gift from God (as the Bible clrealy states), then is it not logical to conclude that we must wait for God to come and transform us? Strangely enough, the answer is no. The analysis is correct - human striving is insufficient and righteousness is a gift from God - but the conclusion is faulty."

I had made the above conclusion many times and I had never heard clearly the final conslusion.

"Happily there is something we can do. We do not need to be hung on the horns of the dilemma of either human works or idleness. God has given us the Disciplines of the spiritual life as a means of receiving his grace. The Disciplines allow us to place ourselves before God so that he can transform us."

Then he quotes Galations 6:8, "he who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption; but he who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life."

All of this brings me hope because it puts me on a path toward spiritual growth and transformation. Before I was on a path with external direction from my church, from my reading, from listening to sermons. Now I feel like I'm going to get on a path with all of those and the internal direction from God and his word to guide me.

I'll keep posting as I feel led. By God's grace I hope I'll see some new changes in me.

The War for our Souls

2010-05-18T09:59:00.002-05:00

War is a behavior pattern exhibited by many primate species[1] including humans, and also found in many ant species. The primary feature of this behavior pattern is a certain state of organized violent conflict that is engaged in between two or more separate social entities. Such a conflict is always an attempt at altering either the psychological hierarchy or the material hierarchy of domination or equality between two or more groups. In all cases, at least one participant (group) in the conflict perceives the need to either psychologically or materially dominate the other participant. Amongst humans, the perceived need for domination often arises from the belief that an essential ideology or resource is somehow either so incompatible or so scarce as to threaten the fundamental existence of the one group experiencing the need to dominate the other group. Leaders will sometimes enter into a war under the pretext that their actions are primarily defensive, however when viewed objectively, their actions may more closely resemble a form of unprovoked, unwarranted, or disproportionate aggression.

In all wars, the group(s) experiencing the need to dominate other group(s) are unable and unwilling to accept or permit the possibility of a relationship of fundamental equality to exist between the groups who have opted for group violence (war). The aspect of domination that is a precipitating factor in all wars, i.e. one group wishing to dominate another, is also often a precipitating factor in individual one-on-one violence outside of the context of war, i.e. one individual wishing to dominate another.

This definition of war is very enlightening. The parts in bold surprised me. I was reading 1 John 3 and I realized that one of the keys to remaining holy is abiding in Jesus. Abiding means to continue in a daily, personal relationship with Jesus, characterized by trust, prayer, obedience, and joy. I also realized that one of the keys to remaining holy is waging a war against sin. We are in a war, whether we like it or not, a war for our souls. 1 Peter 2:11-12 says "Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. 12Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us."

Because of this it's especially helpful to know the definition of war. As stated above it's "an attempt at altering either the psychological hierarchy or the material hierarchy of domination or equality between two or more groups." In other words, it's an attempt to overthrow the dominant power. God is the dominant power. He created the universe, he sustains it, and he rules over it. Satan has come into this creation and has been slowly taking over parts of it. He focuses his energy on individuals. When he does this, when they lose, they no longer recognize God as the dominant power. He loses his rightful place. And because God is a loving God, he doesn't come and over-throw the new hierarchy by force. He comes and knocks gently on the individual's heart and wins them over internally.

The thing that is necessary to recognize, and what made me go "AHA!" is that a war is ocurring because ther is "an essential ideology...[that] is somehow...so incompatible...as to threaten the fundamental existence of the one group experiencing the need to dominate the other group" Satan is at war with us because his viewpoint of the world is at odds with God's, it threatens his existence. He knows he's defeated and he is doing everything in his power to grab as many people before he goes away.

We should recognize that we are in this war. Whether we like it or not. Because we are at war we should be "unwilling to accept or permit the possibility of a relationship of fundamental equality to exist between the groups who have opted for group violence" In other words, there should be no provision made for the flesh. NONE. The fact that any equal relationship is given to anything that Satan offers, is why we fall into sin. There must be a deep gap between us and sin. Our hearts need to be constantly in line with what God is telling us and giving us so we can recognize sin when it's coming. Satan is subtle and won't just come brazenly in, he'll offer sin as exactly what you want. The bait he'll use will be something you've been wanting your whole life, or something you lust after daily. All he asks you to do is bite, and the hook is set.

This is why the bible tells us to be on guard. 1 Corinthians 10:12 "So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!" Be careful that you don't fall. How do we do this? Abide.

1 John 1-3 gives us the instructions. Mainly chapter 1 says in verse 7"But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all[b] sin." And chapter 2 gives us the provision if we do fall verses 1-2"But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. 2He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for[a] the sins of the whole world. Finally in chapter 3 he advises us to not practice sin once we're out of it in verse 6"No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him."

You see we are saved out of sin and invited to walk in the light as he is in the light. We are also given the tool of confession, in 1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." He can do this because he is the atoning sacrifice. Even after all this we still have to be reminded not to practice sin once we're out of it.

All of this is because there is a war going on for our souls and our enemy will stop at nothing to get us to put him as the dominant power. God has defeated our enemy and gives us Jesus, not only as our initial savior, but as our continual savior. He saves us from our selves every day and wins anew our soul by our continual submission and surrender. The war can be won for Jesus simply by our consent.

Sunday's preach

2010-05-13T11:03:00.001-05:00

INTRO
Today Jeremy and I are continuing the topic of work. This time we'll be covering the example of the apostle Paul as he writes to the church at Thessalonica in, 2 Thessalonians 3:6-15. From those verses we'll see that Paul offers advice to a growing church, much like this one, to give them instructions on what to do with those who are not pulling their own weight. Jeremy and I will give some insight into work, from the dangers and pitfalls of working too much, to the shamefulness and dishonor of working too little. On that broad spectrum we'll highlight Paul's advice on work and how his example is an example of balance between those two extremes. So, with that, let me ask you to do a little thought experiment...

LAZY CHURCH

Imagine a church where nobody works. There is no one who preaches a sermon, there’s no one who plays a song, there’s no one to set up the chairs. No one works. There’s no one who puts words on a screen with a computer and projector, because there’s no one who sets up the screen to put them on. There’s no one who goes to the printers to get communication cards, there’s no one who watches the kids, there’s no one who smiles and greets people as they come in. The only thing in this lazy church that even remotely resembles work is that everybody shows up. They all show up and what will they get? As we heard a couple weeks ago they might hear an improvised sermon from David, but what else would they get? What else would expect them to get? Nothing! Work makes things happen, obvious yes, but sometimes it’s hard to remember the purpose of work. Work is meant to create. We were made in the image of God, and he creates. We were made to create, therefore we were made to work. Whether that work creates anything tangible or not is not the point. God created the world and part of that creation involved simply separating light from darkness. Sometimes at work you may simply organize papers into categories to be placed into folders. God created the world and part of that creation was simply speaking. Sometimes your job might just be speaking, but those words create new thoughts in the minds of those who hear them. My point is, work is creation, whatever that form may be.

OVER-WORKED CHURCH
Now imagine a church where the pastor and one other person does everything. He preaches the sermon, he plays a song, he sets up the chairs, he gets all the communication cards, his friend somehow manages to simultaneously watch the kids and change the words on the projector. The pastor greets everyone that comes in, he prays for everyone before they leave, he brings in coffee, he gets donuts, he juggles not 2, not 3, but 4 cats, he sings an aria. You get the point. Thankfully, God can do anything and everything, and thankfully he understands that we can't. He can do everything and even he rested on the seventh day of his creation. So what is the balance between overwork and outright laziness? Maybe the bible can give us an idea.

2 Thessalonians 3:6-15

Let's read 2 Thessalonians 3:6-15 together and see what it has to say “6In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers, to keep away from every brother who is idle and does not live according to the teaching[a] you received from us. 7For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example. We were not idle when we were with you, 8nor did we eat anyone's food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked night and day, laboring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of you. 9We did this, not because we do not have the right to such help, but in order to make ourselves a model for you to follow. 10For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "If a man will not work, he shall not eat."

11We hear that some among you are idle. They are not busy; they are busybodies. 12Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the bread they eat. 13And as for you, brothers, never tire of doing what is right.
14If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of him. Do not associate with him, in order that he may feel ashamed. 15Yet do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.

THESSALONIANS CONTEXT
The apostle Paul visited Thessalonica for several weeks (as it says in Acts 17:1-10 vs. 2 says for “three Sabbath days”) probably in the early summer of 50 AD. Eventually, opposition forced him to leave the city before he was able to deliver all the instruction that he thought was necessary for a new Christian community (1 Thes. 3:10 talks about his desire to return to them). The new church in Thessalonica experienced persecution. Paul sent his student Timothy back to Thessalonica. When Timothy returned to Paul he reported that the Thessalonian Christians were standing firm in spite of persecution. However, there were several topics on which they wanted further teaching, in particular, teaching about the return of Christ. The first letter to the Thessalonians is mainly a missionary’s letter to new Christians which includes teaching on eschatology (end-times) and the parousia (the personal presence, the coming of Christ)

The second letter to the Thessalonians to a large extent deals with a similar situation as in the first letter. The persecution of the Thessalonian Christians seems to be less, but excitement and confusion about the return of Christ exists. A primary reason for writing Second Thessalonians was to clarify a misconception about the coming of Christ “its main aim is to tell them certain things which will calm their hysteria and make them wait, not in idleness, but in patient and diligent attendance to the day’s work.”

Paul’s instruction about work in 2 Thessalonians 3:10 must be seen in combination with his teaching in his first letter. In 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 it says “11Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, 12so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.”

CHILDHOOD

This teaching on work brings me to my experience growing up. My main example of work, and how it should be treated, is my father. He’s a hard working guy. Even now, in his retirement he’s never just “lazing” around the house. There’s always a project in progress. He’ll fix the cars, service the lawnmower and run the snow blower (honestly I have no idea why he does this, to keep the oil from congealing in the engine I guess). When he’s not in the garage he’s in the house doing laundry or cleaning dishes. When those are done he finds something to occupy his mind, like a book or a sermon. He’s usually never too still. So, growing up I was taught that work was valuable and important. My mother also worked hard to earn money for the house and for the bills. But, in contrast with my father, the main message I received from my mother was: work = money = freedom.

Why did she think this? Let me explain a little. My father is manic-depressive so every so often, for awhile it was on a 6 month to yearly basis, he has a manic episode. This causes him to completely change. He’ll go from a happy, relatable person, to a strange and confusing, hard to talk to person. In the process of doing so he’ll spend money like crazy, he’ll stay up all late or get up really early. He’ll work on stuff in the garage late at night, and he’ll basically disrupt the entire house. My mother in these times is usually the only one who deals directly with this. In many cases he ended up committed to a hospital until he stabalized. He would then come home for awhile until the process happened again later. It’s not this bad anymore, but it had been like this for years.

This kind of activity obviously makes it hard for him to make money, so thankfully he has a pension from the government, for his time in the Navy 30 years ago. But these manic episodes disrupted my mother’s ability to maintain a sound budget. So throughout my childhood and into my teen years I had it in mind to get out of the house as soon as possible, and find a job. I began to form the conclusion that my mother had always been indirectly teaching me that work = money = freedom. Work became my functional savior it promised to get me out of that situation, so I worked hard, but for the completely wrong reasons. I thought that if I had enough money, I would never have to face these kinds of problems. I also thought that if I had enough money, I could live far away from them and far away from their problems.

IDENTITY

For anyone, work can be used as more than it was intended for, more than just to create, or more than just to earn a living, it can be used as a savior like it was for me. It can also be used as an identity. Although Paul in 2 Thessalonians 3 is warning against laziness and idleness, the opposite extreme, over-work, is just as bad. If you think about it, this isn’t that hard to fall into. When you ask someone, who are you? One of the first things that they might tell you is, what they do as a job. They might say “I’m a computer programmer” or “I’m a nurse” “I’m an engineer” or “I’m an accountant.” Most of the time this is not a bad thing. It's ok to define yourself by what you do, at least partially. But for some people it can become ALL of who they are. It can be where they find worth, where they find fulfillment, where they find value. That is when it becomes more than a job, it becomes an identity. Ephesians 2:10 helps us realize where we should find our identity, it says “For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” So you see we are God’s workmanship, we were created by him to “do good works” works that he “prepared in advance for us to do.” Our work in ministry, our work at school, our work in our jobs is all included in this. So we work hard as servants, as God’s workmanship, that is who we are. If you are working from this point of view, I believe you will find it easier to work for anyone or for any organization. Working as if you are working for God moves your value and worth to it's proper place. God gives you his thoughts about you and his purposes for you. Then you can work, without trying to find those things in your job. The point is We don’t find who we are in what we do rather What we do is because of who we are! We work as secrataries or programmers or preachers because we desire to serve and do a good job for God. We don't work as secrataries and programmers and preachers to find out who we are. My favorite quote on this concept is "Standing for hours in an empty garage does not make you a car." We start out as children of God and then do things, none of the things we do will give us a true identity.

IDOL
Not only can work become our identity but it can also become an idol or a god. I talked earlier about how I turned work into my functional savior, essentially an idol. For others work can become that and more. It can be where they go to find meaning, to find order, to find purpose, to find validation. All of those things are good, but when they are derived from a job, or our grades, or our church, and not God, they are not coming from the right place. Work is simply meant to provide us with the means to be independent of others. To not be a burden on anyone else for our food or our clothes or our housing.

GODLINESS
As kind of a side note there's a verse in 1 Timothy 6:6 that says “Godliness with contentment is great gain.” And I just want to make a point that gives some good wisdom for work in general.

So godliness with contentment is great gain. To give this verse a little more context, in verse 5 it says there were those who thought godliness was a means to financial gain. Paul is correcting that misconception. Godliness can be considered a form of work. You have to read your bible, you have to faithfully follow what it says, you have to pray and communicate with God. The problem arises when you start to treat godliness as a means to gaining God's favor, or as a means to blessings or money. The purpose of godliness is simply to be with God and grow closer to him, nothing else. Godliness as a means to anything defeats the purpose of following God. Godliness is the end in itself, abiding with God, being in his presence is the end, not the means to anything else.

THE BALANCE
So what's the balance? The verses Paul writes in 2 Thessalonians give us the correct model of work; from the extremes of laziness and over-work. He says “7For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example. We were not idle when we were with you, 8nor did we eat anyone's food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked night and day, laboring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of you. 9We did this, not because we do not have the right to such help, but in order to make ourselves a model for you to follow. 10For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "If a man will not work, he shall not eat."

CONCLUSION

Work, so you’re not a burden (whether a burden because your never home or because you don’t carry your own weight with a job). Work for your food and your shelter and then be content with that. Work, don’t find excuses not to. Work, don’t find “work” in meddling with other people’s problems.

What do I want you to take away from this?:
1. Work is meant to create
2. What we do is because of who we are. Work, because God made you to create a difference in this world. He put you here to do good works that will make his purposes come into being here on earth.
3. We are to find our identity in God and what he says about us. We are to work as children of God that were crafted as his workmanship, and not be defined by our work.
4. Godliness is the end in itself, it’s our end goal, not the means to anything. Our work in the church, what could be called “godliness” is not meant to bring about financial gain, or prestige. Godliness with contentment is great gain. The only profit and gain we need to seek is that which comes from our relationship with Jesus Christ.
5. Don't be idle or a burden on anyone.

Luke 20:16-18

2010-03-18T14:05:00.003-05:00

16 He will come and destroy those tenants and give the vineyard to others." When they heard this, they said, "Surely not!" 17 But he looked directly at them and said, "What then is this that is written:

"'The stone that the builders rejected
has become the cornerstone'?
18 Everyone who falls on that stone will be broken to pieces, and when it falls on anyone, it will crush him."

How can God who is both merciful and kind "destroy" those who reject his salvation?

God uses the harsh word destroy to accomplish a few things.

One, his words are used to wake up those who are currently on the path to destruction. If he used words that were any less truthful of the coming consequences, then he would be guilty of sugar-coating the utter ruin that is coming. God loves everyone and to allow even his enemies to suffer unwarned would be against his nature.

Two, since God is a holy God he cannot permit into his presence those who oppose him. The unjustified people who try to, on their own, come to meet with God will be rejected as they rejected him. Each of us, without Christ are the same, exactly the same. We don't have clearance to enter into the presence of a righteous and holy God. Sin is a pestilence that God cannot come into contact with.

Three, Christ justified us, there is no other substitute. God can not continue trying forever to get someone to accept him. People will either follow God or follow themselves and eventually they will follow themselves into destruction.

It's harsh sounding but what else would you have God do? Would you have him create an entire other universe, separate from God, to go on sinning to your hearts content? Maybe that is just what he did, with hell.

God must separate, not only himself from those who oppose him, but also those who oppose him from those who love him. He must do this for the same reasons he must separate them from himself. Because his people are holy, because of Jesus. Because his people are justified and therefore in right standing with him. Once this life is over, we can't be with those God has not justified. Because they can't be with God, they can't be with us.

It is hard to grasp, emotionally and mentally, in fact the very reason I'm writing this is to help me understand God's reasoning. I think God gives everyone, every chance he can to accept him and in the end he judges us based on what we did with all those chances.

Growth

2010-01-06T14:43:00.003-05:00

Today I repotted my office plant. It looks much much happier and I anticipate that it will be much bigger in the next 6 months. Probably, it will need to be repotted again. I mention this because I've been learning about growing in relationship with God. I've also been reading A Severe Mercy. The author speaks of relationship with his wife, or "comrade-lover", about how "sharing" is the key to oneness. By trying to appreciate what there is to like in the likes of the other, they bond.

I've also been thinking about how I'm going to be leading a community group this month. Part of me is a little intimidated by this. Not because I haven't done it before, but because it's been such a long time. Then today, I got to thinking, that doing something I don't know how to do is the key to growing. It's the key to taking new ground. It also is an opportunity to ask God for help. This is where I believe I need to learn the most. I don't ask God for help very often. I feel really independent and like my life the way I've made it.

Like my plant though, I will remain in the same pot, restricted from growth, restricted from getting stronger and better if I don't get repotted. Like Jesus said you can't put new wine into old wineskins, and you can't get new growth from an old plant pot.

The process of growth can be painful, and it can be embarrassing, but it's really the only way to get anywhere. I need to look at this process, not as something to be feared, but as something that can be great. God has much more freedom to work with someone who is doing new things than with someone who is stuck in the same routine.

Therefore, I will make an effort to be asking God for help in the new things I am doing, I will do new things, and I will ask for help in the old things that I feel like I have handled. Help from God will make what I thought was perfect into what God thinks is perfect. Now isn't that better?

Acts 10

2009-11-17T09:35:00.003-05:00

In a way, God will always be telling me to turn to him. Turn to him in my needs, turn to him in my joys. To God I am a success story because he already knows the end. He just has to turn to his right and see Jesus sitting by his side. The lesson that Acts is teaching me is God makes a path to Jesus for everyone. He breaks into time and space and intervenes in our lives. Cornelius opened the door for the Gentiles to receive God, but it was God who initiated. God gave him the vision. God gave Peter the vision. God makes the path for us to walk in before we even know we have feet.

All of this is not new to me, but I want to make it real so there needs to be a concrete way of thinking about this. There are two points I need to learn. 1. Evangelism is double-sided. 2. Grace is to set us free

The first point I had not fully understood. However, it makes perfect sense to think that the best evangelism is initiated by God. He knows who he's working on. He also knows who he wants for someone to talk to. So why not ask Him? Talking to someone before they're ready is like touching an iron while it's still hot. You get burned. I mean a red-hot piece of iron that God is forging. He's hammering them out. If we talk before God is ready for us to, we might get hit with the hammer, or worse, ruin the thing he's making.

Point two is much more complex. Grace is to set us free. Grace is to "burden" us with what God gives as a gift. His yoke is easy and his burden is light. What trips me up is God's willingness to accept me back EVERY TIME I fail. I'm somehow stuck in a world where I'm dreading the last time I fail. The time when I sin, I die, and God says.

"Ooh, that last one there, uh yeah, I'm going to need you to go right to Hell for that. You see all the other times I forgave you because I foreknew you were going to stop sinning but, actually I didn't intend for you to keep sinning right up to your death. Yeah caught me by surprise on that one, sorry! Never knew you!"

Then I have this awful thought that I'll spend the rest of eternity wishing I hadn't sinned that one last time.

All of that is ludicrous, absolute and utter rubbish. Fear, first of all, that ALL of my sin is not paid for. Past, Present, and Future sin. Every sin. All of them. Why not?! God is our Father and if I had a son who I told could never do anything to lose his place in my family, I would always honor that word. Even if he destroyed my car, or house. I would still love him. How much more does God love us? He loves us to the point of letting us kill him! If I can be forgiven of that, what could I possibly do to make him change his mind about me? We can't catch God by surprise. He made all of history and therefore knows every step and misstep that we'll take.

God's desire is to so change our manner of thinking that to sin is only to require more grace. Since our sense of justice or quid-pro-quo is always on, he needed to do something that would transcend it. Yes he satisfies justice but he does it to a ridiculous degree. We are left simply dumb-struck to try and utter a word to refute it. He gave a billion dollars for our $17.95 debt. He gave a yacht when we asked for a row-boat. He gave us Jesus, and ultimately himself, when we asked for forgiveness.

Discipline, it's like a hammer covered in pillows

2009-09-25T10:42:00.002-05:00

For the longest time, I've been undisciplined and unstructured. I love structure though. I love things to be organized and neat, but I hate making them that way. Structure, as in a set schedule, a weekly routine, keeps me disciplined but I've never been able to find a way to be comfortable doing this with God. I've always chalked this up to the enemy distracting me with the world, so I don't build a relationship with God. In some ways I think that is what is going on, but I think there is also an element of God not wanting to be put in a box. (He was in one for awhile in the desert with the people of Abraham, he doesn't like that anymore).

Where does this leave me? I think I'm left with only the option to be ever mindful. To always be listening. To always be talking. God is everywhere present and every-when with us, so everywhere and every-when I can be refilled. Jesus most certainly spent time alone, in the early morning, to be with his father, but he also spent a lot of time with people, teaching and healing. Therefore, I should be with people, teaching and healing, and only recharge when necessary, when I'm empty.

God can only fill an empty vessel.

So however much I long for a schedule, maybe I need simply to open my ears and open my eyes to find places to give away my blessings.

Holy spirit, open the eyes of my heart, open the ears of my heart. Be in my way.

Marshill Church Identity

2009-08-24T14:05:00.000-05:00

The Original Lie

2009-07-28T10:48:00.008-05:00

Genesis 3:4-5

"You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman. 5 "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."

Here we have the original lie that Satan told our first parents "You will be like God." Eve was presented with the idea that her intellect would be like that of God's. What would you say is the appeal of that? For Adam and Eve, who had everything, who had daily food, who had perfect peace, who had a consistent relationship with God, what could they possibly need? The truth is, they didn't need anything. They were completely taken care of from head to toe, from morning to evening. Their lives were totally in God's hands and totally blessed. Why did they need anything else?

Satan, posed a question, a misdirection, to get them thinking, to get them to doubt. Maybe God is holding out on us, they thought. Maybe he has something he's not giving us. Maybe he's not telling us everything. If we eat this fruit, well then, we'll know what he's not telling us!

And goodness gracious me, it worked! They could see they were naked! Well that's not the kind of thing they wanted to know. They wanted to know so much more, they wanted to know EVERYTHING and that's what Satan promised. But we're not meant to know everything, we're not meant to be God, we're his creation, not his creator. We're his dependents. If God filled out a tax form, he would have to put down 6 billion!

You see, we are still believing this lie. That God is holding out on us. That God has something he's not giving us. The truth is, he's not! We still believe that there's something he's preventing us from getting. There's something he doesn't want us to have. That may be true, but whatever he's preventing us from getting is for our GOOD. God prevented Adam and Eve from seeing that they were naked. That was for their GOOD.

We still believe that God, who gave us his own Son, won't freely give us all things. We think somewhere, for some strange reason, he's holding out on us. And that if we find a way to get what he's holding out, we'll be happy. If I could just get that job then I'll be happy. If I could just get that girlfriend, then I'll be happy. If I could just have a kid, then I'll be happy. If I could just get that raise, graduate from college, get my PhD, find love, be richer...etc, then I will be happy!

It never ends. We are never happy. When we achieve these things, they don't satisfy. When we get these things, often times they make us miserable. This is all because we are believing the lie. The Original Lie. That God is not God. That God won't provide. That somehow he'll fail us. So we make sure he won't fail, we find another way to provide, another way to fulfill our dreams, because, well, God isn't working fast enough! He's never going to come through! God helps those who help themselves! HA! Tell that to Eve!

The problem is, anything we set up, other than God, to be the ultimate thing, the thing that will make us happy when we achieve or receive it, is an idol. Anything that exists, whether good or bad or neither, can be turned into an idol. Anything that we place in the highest place, the thing that we put at the center of our lives, is an idol. God needs to be in the highest place. God needs to be set up as the "thing" that will make us happy. Until we put God in that place, we'll never be happy.

It all comes down to believing the lie or believing THE truth. What truth? That God is enough. God is all we need. God is going to come through. The beautiful thing is this. God is enough, God is all we need, and God has already come through. In Jesus, he came through. In Jesus we have the love, the acceptance, the thing we've been waiting for, already! We have Jesus already! If we just turn away from the thing that will "satisfy" and turn toward him, he is ready to accept anyone. He is pursuing us until we turn. He is loving us, until we love. He is chasing us, until we give in.

Leave what you think will make you happy and turn to Jesus. The lie will be seen for what it is. The truth will be abundantly clear. He is all you need.

Introspection

2009-07-11T00:24:00.002-05:00

I enjoy a good drink on occasion. I enjoy a few too many good drinks on less occasions. Well tonight is one of the latter nights.

Now it may sound funny or out of place, but I've been watching the Showtime television series Californication. What I expected from the show was a lot of gratuitous sex and a little bit of entertainment. What I did not expect was to find that this man, David Duchovny, was a very insightful thinker. He's going through the pains and heartaches that I'm sure a good majority of Americans are going through. He's dealing with a break-up of his family unit, he's dealing with the hardship caused by relationships that don't work, he's coping with raising his child while not being available for her all the time.

I think I'm in man-crush with David Duchovny, simply because he tells it like it is. He has this way of making the pain he's going through, dealing with all the above, into something that's worth listening to. I know it's fiction, I know it's created by someone who had a lot of time to think about, but that does not diminish its value. It has taught me a few things about relationships that I needed to learn. One of them being that, if I have children, they will have a loving father, in the picture all the time. I will raise them much better than this because I will work out my differences with my future wife and not put them in a bad environment.

This show has basically taught me what NOT to do.

Anyway, I thought it was a great idea to post a little tipsy. Maybe I'll regret this tomorrow. Or maybe I'll enjoy reading my buzzed introspection.

The pleasures of this life

2009-07-10T09:32:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I want to go into a time warp and wake up married with a house and kids. Not that this sudden time warp would make me happy, but it would take out all the waiting. Also, I don't want to miss all the things that come before having kids, but you probably get my idea. Sometimes I just think "If I were older, wiser, and more patient then these problems wouldn't follow me or try to find me." The problems, I see, are here to refine me. The waiting, I see, is here to make me wiser (and older). The situations I want to skip, are meant to fill me with understanding and memories for advising my kids and my friends. The pain I want to jump over, is meant to fill me with compassion for those who can't deal with life on their own. My life is a learning experience, but sometimes it really hurts. Sometimes, it takes all I have not to want to break off and leave things alone, let raging dogs rage without me.

I will someday look back and be glad for all that God has allowed in my life. He has certainly not kept it boring!

This isn't the end, this is only the beginning. Hopefully I'll find rest along the way. What I do know is that God is my refuge and my fortress in times of trouble. God is my rock. I will lean on him and no other until the storms pass.

You may wonder why I entitled this "pleasures" when all I'm talking about is pain. Well it's ironic.

Our Inheritance

2009-06-04T13:59:00.004-05:00

Imagine with me that you are a child of rich parents. I’m not talking about celebrity rich, I’m talking nation rich. I mean you’re the child of some noble, or prince. Basically you’ve got $20 or $30 billion coming your way when you come of age. This money and all the investments and property it’s contained in, will be yours when you're 18. Now, just think about what you would do with all that money! Travel the world, never work again, buy houses, cars, boats, motorcycles, start businesses, buy businesses, eat till you pop, help your friends, I could go on. I say all this to remind you, you ARE the child of a billionaire. You DO have an inheritance coming. Jesus says that in his house there are many mansions and that he goes to prepare a place for you. You will live in Jesus’ house! Jesus says that for those who persevere through hardship he will give them a crown of life. You will receive bling! He says that those who overcome, God will dress us in white, and allow us to sit with him on his throne! We will be dressed like kings and given stuff to rule over! Come on people! This is too much.

So whenever you’re thinking low thoughts about your life. Whenever you have a view of this world that fills you with dread, whenever you can’t make it through the day, just think of your inheritance. Know that you are a child of the richest father in the world. You’re gonna be rich, in fact, you ARE rich!

Weird thoughts

2009-06-03T14:01:00.004-05:00

What if every Christian got their wish, to be like Jesus? What if everyone of us got to be Jesus after we died? What if we got to heaven and God said "Son this is my first task for you as a new member of heaven, come I will show you how to be my Son just like you asked", and right there and then you wake up in a manger and your name is Jesus? You know the path that this life will lead you on and you follow it to the end. You die the righteous death that he died for you and all of mankind. You rise again to life at the right hand of the father. A member of the trinity.You are now assimilated into God fully and there is no distinction because everyone of his children was in Christ through his life. We all get to live his life and die our death in our place. And in the end there is perfect fellowship with the saints and God because we all died the death we were supposed to die. Weird and a little blasphemous since it says "He died our death Once For All" but it makes you think. Because, why are we being taught obedience if there is nothing to obey him for when we die? I don't know other than a crazy scenario like I just outlined.

I'm quite sure this doesn't make any sense I just had a thought and wrote it down. One of the main reasons it's not correct is because, well, you can't be God. Only God is God.

Doing something for God

2009-02-26T11:58:00.002-05:00

Have you ever thought about how doing something for God is like doing something for a good friend? Just think about it for a minute. If you planned your friend's birthday party, what would you do? You would spend the time to pick out the cake, what it said on it. You would make arrangements for an apartment or house to be ready for all his friends. You would spend time cleaning that place and preparing it for him and his friends to come over. All these preparations and all because you love that friend. Because you care about them and want them to be happy and loved. I think it's the same with God.

I can get all caught up in just doing things out of duty for God I can forget that I like him. I say to myself "I need to read the bible because it's good for me" when really I should say, "I get to read the bible because I get to hear from my friend." Or I say "I need to tell my friends about Jesus" when I should just naturally say "Do you want to hear about what my friend did for me the other day?" Because God really does do a lot for us.

I believe it's harder to keep this perspective of God because he is essentially on a long journey. Friends that aren't in the same zip code, or circle of interaction are hard to remember. I have a bunch of those that I know from college. I keep in touch, but only occasionally. (Sometimes they get married before I even know they're dating someone). So God can be hard to keep on the top of my mind simply because he's not blatantly in my face. However, I can be much more mindful of him if I remember to read my bible and pray daily. God will wake me up to his presence occasionally without my trying, but he's much more readily on mind when I'm loyally trying to seek being with him.

So what am I going to do for my friend? Whatever I can, and whatever he asks, the best I can.

Jesus tries to get through to us...

2009-02-04T10:25:00.003-05:00

Jesus, in John 14:1-14, tries to get through to his disciples, and consequently us, that He is God. This concept is one that you hear throughout your Christian life and even sometimes in your non-Christian life. And I think I understand two things now, one Jesus is God, and two, that one thing can be three persons.

Let me explain.

I learned in my psychology class that children go through a certain stage where they can't grasp the idea that one thing can have multiple names. For example, that a cup is also a container, or a plate is also a dish. Adults understand this and use this to categorize the world more precisely. Children just want one name, one thing, they're simpler. I believe this same concept is difficult for adults when it comes to God. God isn't just one thing with many names he's one thing with many persons. For a human to grasp this, is similar for a child to grasp that the color red could also be the color crimson. I'm not analogizing God and Jesus, to red and crimson, I'm saying we don't have the capacity readily available to categorize a thing that is both one thing and many things.

So for Philip to ask in John 14:8 "Lord, show us the Father..." it's not surprising. He can't get this idea that God can be both in heaven and on earth. That he can be both the Father and the Son, simultaneously. In fact He is both. Jesus says it plainly in vs. 9 "Whoever has seen me has seen the Father...I am in the Father and the Father is in me." He's trying his best to put it in words we understand. We need to know this, we need to get this.

Many many people have this deep desire to know God. They may not even know that that is the desire inside them. But it shows up in what they do, how they worship things (give their time and money) and how they have this desire for intimacy. And all this time here he is! He's sitting in plain view, in every bible, in every story of redemption, in every story of sacrifice. God. If they are ever truly want to see God all they have to do is look at Jesus. He is God.

Child of the King

2009-01-13T11:26:00.003-05:00

A story from an email I received today from these guys

Challenge to Prayer…Article #7

Deep in the misty green hills of Ireland long long ago there was a kingdom. One of the rules of the kingdom was that every prince and princess needed to spend a few years living with the ‘commoners’ so that they would know what life was like for those they would one day rule. At this time it was not uncommon for strangers and travelers to come into the kingdom and settle in for a while before moving on, and under this pretense the future royalty would one day show up in a small village to begin their pilgrimage into normal life.
One young prince was in the midst of his exploration when a corrupt governor came into power and began robbing and harassing the very village that he had settled into. Secretly, the village began sending ambassadors one by one to the king to inform him of the injustice that was destroying the village and their way of life. And one by one the ambassadors timidly approached the castle and were turned away by the kings attendants and advisors.
Yet the village did not lose hope and persisted in sending representatives to the king. Eventually the king’s very own son was chosen for the task. He began the long walk to the castle musing over how he would be received.
Upon reaching the drawbridge the guards demanded to know his business. The prince revealed his identity and was immediately shown into his fathers mighty throne room, by some very apologetic guards. Naturally the father listened with passion to his child’s request for help and justice. And naturally the father responded, bringing justice by force to the village.

…So often we approach the throne of grace timidly or feeling unworthy to ‘bother’ God with our requests. Let’s believe God when He declares us to be his beloved sons and daughters, and let us see him not only as king, but as father.

“So let us keep on coming with boldness to the throne of grace, so that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
---Hebrews 4:16

The King got up from his throne

2008-11-12T11:18:00.001-05:00

This morning on my ride into work I had this amazing picture that gave me chills. I spent the next several minutes marveling and thinking on the implications of it. Imagine that God is a king. It's not that hard seeing that he is a king. Imagine him sitting on his throne, surrounded by a castle that is immaculate and orderly. The morning report comes in and he hears that his son's wife-to-be is in trouble her town is under siege. This future daughter-in-law, however, is only known to be of this status to him and his son. To everyone else she is simply a common citizen of his kingdom, which is vast. The king has ruled calmly and resolutely from his throne for years without leaving it vacant ever. Yet this news causes him great pain. And he does something no one expects.

He gets off his throne.

He stands up and resolves to personally fight this attack.

That image of a king rising for the sake of one person, it awes me. He got up and came to my defense. He actually made an effort on my behalf. Such power for such weakness.

Now, I'm not saying God actually left his rule and authority of the universe to become Jesus. No, he's three persons, he can remain on the throne and come down as a human, simultaneously. What I am saying is that he didn't have to do what he did. He didn't have to come to our rescue, he could have just sat there and been indifferent to our plight. But he didn't. And that's why I love him.

The Jurisdiction of the Church

2008-11-06T13:49:00.004-05:00

Click for sermon
Many of the ideas I am about to express come from the above linked sermon.

The issue in America again, because of the recent election, is gay marriage. I agree with Mark Driscoll's opinion that the United States is not a church. The jurisdiction of the church does not extend beyond the 4 walls of the church to dictate what people should do. This does not mean we can't preach the gospel in love and hope that people come to a knowledge of the truth. However, telling someone that they can't be legally bound to their partner on the basis of Church authority, is a little like a Canadian mounty pulling you over on horse back and giving you a ticket. You wouldn't pay that ticket, because his laws don't apply to you. Or if someone knocked on your door and said "You're breaking some of the rules in the Q'uran." You'd tell them "I'm not on that team, I don't follow those rules."

So how can we expect people outside the church to follow our rules.

It's ok for us to get angry with other churches, but there is no way we're going to see progress if we argue with those outside of it.

The problem is Satan has tricked us into believing we're at war with these people. We're not. We are at war with him and he has taken them captive. By fighting them we're effectively shooting the prisoners, expecting it to slow the enemy's progress. It's actually their goal that we fight the prisoners, we're falling right into their trap.

We are to love God, love people in the church, and love people outside the church.

There is no way anyone is going to come into one of our churches if we're judging them before they're on the same team. They are captives to the enemy and are following his rules. All we'll do is confuse and deject people. The bible doesn't make any sense to them.

We are called to lovingly explain the gospel in a way that is understandable. We are to love and instruct our brothers and sisters in Christ to do the same. We are to be men and women who know who our enemy is and fight him, not the people he's enslaved.

7-20-08

2008-10-03T15:43:00.000-05:00

Here's an entry in a journal I was writing a few months back. I found it relevant to how I feel today. When I speak of death, dying, kill, I mean meta-physically, so don't be worried for my physical health.

Here is the reason I sit. I sit because I can’t be good. I sit here and type this journal because I know there is a better way. I have much to discuss with God and much inside me that needs to come out, but I haven’t a clue where to begin. So I sit and I type as a testament to my defeat. A testament to the things that have come to pass. I am a sinner saved by grace. Hook line and sinker. That’s it. There’s a chosen few who were blessed to bring the message of the gospel to those in the world who have never heard it before. God blesses a small number so that they can bless the rest. Therefore here I am as a blessed one who is supposed to bring the message of God to those who haven’t heard it before. And there I am at that junction that I hate, hate, hate to be at. The junction that apparently the rest of mankind has been around, resisting since the beginning. The junction of being sent out. The root cause of course is disobedience. And what did God just hours ago tell me to do. Obey him. He specifically asked me to obey him. And what have I done so far as my acts of obedience. Sin. So I’m stuck. I really am completely and utterly stuck. And no I’m not saying that to get God to help me. Or even because I’ve said it before and believed it to be true. It’s true that I believed it before and it was true before. But I always had inside my head a reason to go on. A thing that said “you don’t believe that do you?” That said, “No, you can still find a way to obey what God is saying to you on your own.” And there it is. ON YOUR OWN you can do nothing! I’ve heard this message before. But here I am trying to type my way out of a bottomless pit. Even typing will only make my mind more tired of trying to figure a way out of this. Obedience on your own will never work. Children try and fail many many many times. And what makes you think you’re anything greater than a child? Who said you could be anything greater? There is a pride in you David! A pride of figuring it out. Drop the pride and just believe in me! Drop the pretense of holiness that you so love to hold. Drop who you know you should be and die! Die, DIE! There must be a way through that thick skull of yours. YOU NEED TO DIE! Ok, God. Kill me then. Desecrate my self. Kill it kill it kill it and I will be free. For nothing is going to work unless you intervene. KILL ME GOD. I am willing to die for freedom from all these chains. What chains you ask? The chain of self love. The chain of self-preservation. The chain of ignorance. The chain of self-hate. The chain of self. The chain of deception. The chain of wrong desire. The chain of alone-ness. You are going to be made free David, once you want to be made free. Well God I want to be made free.

Philosphical Thoughts

2008-09-16T20:35:00.002-05:00

The part in quotes I wrote one night after a long period of thought. The part outside the quotes I wrote after a long conversation with a buddy of mine, Kris Loper, and a grande Chai tea latte.

"...God help me to articulate these thoughts. Time is an illusion perpetuated by our minds' ability to record on a medium, our brains, events that occur. On top of that physical objects follow predictable paths governed by dependable, constant laws that are expressed using the concept of time yet however do not in fact exist independently of a conscious observer. Now humans consciously observe many things including our own bodies and the objects around us. However when these things are not in observation they follow the previously mentioned laws yet are also in the constant observation of the omnipresent God. Therefore I propose that reality is not only created in origin by God but it is constantly sustained from not existing by the ever watchful eye of God. (In Him we live and move and have our being). Now prayer, I propose, is a strange mixture of time travel and conscious observation. By requesting something of God through faith we are placing ourselves in one of infinite alternative time-paths that God has set before us. As an example I posit Abraham, when God tested him in the sacrifice of Isaac. There was Abraham's faith and its very thought, word, and deed placed Abraham in the universe where a ram spent hours climbing a mountain and was subsequently caught in a thicket. God can use the natural laws that he instituted at creation to cause miracles. This is why nothing is impossible for God. He can at any moment shift all of your being into a time-path where the reality you have faith for is the one you inhabit. Retroactive, time constrained answers to prayer are entirely possible. Entire limbs can be restored by this mechanism. People's physically dead bodies can rise from death because there is no boundary for God between the universe where they're dead and the universe of natural laws and material exist where they're alive. Faith directs you personally into and out of these time paths for the purpose of revealing God's glory and his mastery over the material world."

"All of reality is being recorded in only three places. God's being, your being, and the material world itself. The rocks age and show successive bits of decay. The stars wain in brightness. Seas rise and fall. Our brain records a thought. All are material world recordings. Two copies of these things are being made, one in your spirit, of your conscious observation, the other in God's spirit of His conscious observation of everything. The only reason time is perceived to exist is because this world changes. To make sense of successive events we made a concept to measure and record "When" things happen. Much of our language is time laden. However, God and our spirits are independent of time. They exist somewhere else. Some"what" else I don't know. Our spirits are temporarily attached to these material bodies in this material world. What our spirit wants and what our bodies want are often two different things because they are in a competition for control of dominance. Many scriptures reflect this, namely Romans 7. Living by the spirit is actually an act of preventing our material components from being in control of our time independent spiritual core, which is immortal. Directing the free will toward the conscious observation of that which the spirit desires, and what God's spirit desires subsequently alters the material body. The body will eventually want what the spirit wants. In addition prayer and God's power to place us on a time-path where we are physically less addicted to something is there. He can accelerate the process if necessary."

Now of course falling asleep puts us in conscious observation of our internal thought processes which, thankfully, aren't powerful enough to cause anything in this reality to happen. Our dreams don't come true, at least not quickly. Also, I think somehow our brains internal processes that work whether we're thinking about them or not, also serve as a sort of "sustainability" to the reality of our bodies. In other words, we don't have to think about our heart beating for it to do so, in the same way, we don't have to consciously observe our fingernails for them to exist (and grow), it happens "naturally."

While I was typing this I started to think of the implications this has for more than just individuals. That it could just as easily happen for entire groups of people. That as a church prays for things to happen they all move in the time-path that God is giving them faith for. Which brings me to think "How" this could be the truth. If each time I think a certain way and God ordains that to be the "universe" I'm in, does everyone else come with me? Or am I alone in an alternate universe with sustained copies of everyone...weird!

Is everyone literally "in their own world"? Is that why it feels like that's the case quite often? Maybe God sustains the "background," so to speak, and allows us all to be in self-contained self-willed universes. And the reason why it's so difficult for people to become Christians is because they're really giving up so much more than just lives, their giving up their God gifted mastery of their universe! Of course they don't want to give that up! When we become Christians we're, moving from a dead-end, yet self-governed universe, to a glorious-end, God-willed one.

Redwood Growth

2008-09-16T08:53:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I watched a short video that, although not spiritual, when spiritual-ized gives an interesting picture of Christian growth. Redwood trees, also known as the Giant Sequoias, trees like General Sherman, become the largest trees in the world. In Santa Cruz and Sierra Nevada they grow solid and strong and live to be thousands of year old.

Now, what this video told me is that when they are allowed to grow in an urban environment, unopposed and unchecked they wreak havoc. They lift up the foundations of nearby buildings, they get into septic systems, and sometimes they fall. These huge, highly respected trees, fall. Why do they fall? Because their insides are hollow.

In their natural environment they are forced to grow at a pace that gives them time to form a structurally sound base. But out in the open, with plenty of water and sunlight, they can be dangerous. When they are cut down for lifting up a foundation, it is revealed that the base of the trees are riddled with gaps, huge hollow areas in their foundation.

This is such an amazing picture of a church, or a person that grows too quickly. They are structurally unsound, their doctrine isn't firm, their spirit is untested, un-weathered, and they are vulnerable to a fall.

I thank God that he has grown us, at Fenway Church slowly, at least by the world's standards. That it has taken us a few years to get going. Because without this period of preparation, our base wouldn't be able to hold the influx of people from the world. We would have been totally unprepared for the coming trials and crushing forces.

Praise God for his sovereign knowledge and preparation!

23 Minutes in Hell

2008-09-03T08:40:00.001-05:00

This is scary

Here's the text.

Jesus and Hell are real.

Ye Shall Know the Truth

2008-09-02T21:59:00.003-05:00

I honestly can say that the more I learn about Hell, the more I want to stay away from there. I listened to Mark Driscoll's sermon on the crucifixion of Jesus (Christ on the Cross: Jesus Died in Our Place) and, oh boy, let me tell you, I am scared of Hell again. I'm also afraid of/more respectful of Jesus. Partially because of this sermon about God reigning, but also because of the portrayal of Jesus being so awesome. His robe is completely white, except for the edge dipped in blood, he'll come on a white horse, a sword will come out of his mouth, and he has a tattoo on his thigh.

Rev 19:16:"On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written:KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS."

On top of that he'll come riding with an army of white horsemen. If you show up to a battle arrayed in white you're pretty confident how the fight's going to go.

And reading about Hell, how it's foul odor is unbearable, how there's worms in it that eat and never die, how it will be forever and ever...all of this gave me a healthy respect for God's judgment again.

Have a listen guys.

The Good Samaritan

2008-09-01T22:21:00.002-05:00

I was thinking about the good Samaritan tonight, after hearing about him from David W, and although I didn't exactly get what he was trying to say about him, I got something else. Mainly, that Christians ought to be people that stop, consider, and minister to those in need. This includes on your way to work, on your way to bible study, on your way to another church meeting or whatever. If you show up 45 minutes late to a meeting on worship, it's not a big deal if your excuse is that you were helping a homeless man. People will understand...and if they don't, they should. Because it is our job to be a friend to the friendless. It is our job to consider the needs of others especially those who are our social unequal.
1 John 3:16: This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.

Not that giving a homeless guy something to eat is "laying down your life" but it is similar. And if you're doing acts of love like this continually, then you are continually laying down your lives for others.

Jesus did the same for us.

Through the Church

2008-06-25T12:13:00.003-05:00

Let me just tell you what's been going on in my mind. After listening to the Art Katz messages (I've gotten through the first one, am listening to the second) I've come to realize the obviousness of the truth. That we are in the last of the last days. Now, this has been taught to me my entire life, seriously, since I was a child I've been told about the Second Coming, about the White Throne Judgment, about the Great Tribulation, but all of this has been taught with the caveat that we, as a church, will be "raptured." That meant I wasn't going to have to deal with any of that. I would just be blissfully taken off to heaven without so much as a thought for my life back on earth.

Now, after studying the second coming of Christ, I know that Jesus will not be removing us from the coming trials. This doesn't scare me like it used to. In fact, it excites me. Ephesians 3:10-13 says "His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, 11 according to his eternal purpose which he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord. 12 In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. 13 I ask you, therefore, not to be discouraged because of my sufferings for you, which are your glory."

Take notice of the words "through the church" because Art Katz pointed at those words to highlight that WE as a people will fulfill what God has made creation for. He put together this whole world, allowed it to develop its own system and autonomy, so that God's system and authority would be contrasted with it. That his truth and worldview would be gleaming and bright against the backdrop of this dark and perverse world system. And that "through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known" to the world, to the spirit world, to all creation. We are the instruments of his song on this earth, as I said in my previous post, and it will be heard everywhere.

Mr. Katz (not Harry) also conjectures that the second coming isn't just a chronological date but it may be a time set up based on what the church is doing. That if there is to be a second coming it won't come until the church has fulfilled its purposes. So HOW MUCH MORE should that encourage us to haste the coming of our Lord! Our obedience in This Generation can bring about the end (thank God) and usher in the Kingdom of Heaven in actuality, not just in spirituality. His call to the church has been the same throughout man's history, so why not continue it with the same urgency as our past brothers and sisiters.

I'm really excited by all this and I am more motivated than ever to not waste the time I have been allotted. If in my lifetime we all end up martyred for our faith in the United States, praise God! But failing that, there are countries in this world where it is already illegal to do the things we do. Let us imagine we are there, serving with those brothers and sisters, and give our lives an urgency that will make us faithful to our father. And if God directs us, let us actually go to those places!

Crucified with Christ

2008-06-24T13:32:00.003-05:00

(The Message) Galatians 19-21What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I quit being a "law man" so that I could be God's man. Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.

Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God's grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.

Here we are. Lowly Christians. Thinking we are something great, or worse, thinking we are supposed to be something great. I am a wretch! I am nothing! I am dust! Oh, God remind me of that daily. You are sovereign. You are HOLY! You are the all seeing, all knowing, all powerful, almighty GOD! Why do I presume to know anything, to see anything, to have control at all?

I plead with you God, come down! Come down and wash away this apathetic nature rooted so deeply in me. Wash away the disgusting garment of complacency that I wear. Come down and eliminate my need for the approval of men! The need for the gratitude of friends. The need for their praise and admiration over my love for you!

Grace us with a "called out-ness" like never before Lord. Father fill us with a need to separate ourselves from this world system. Father break us of our old ways, our old attitudes. Father make us so like you that Jesus is the only one we're even close to resembling. Abba, daddy I am lost in a sea of sin and I've known you and I miss you. I miss your presence Lord, so much that I'm crying right now to feel it again. I miss the beauty of your awesome love filling every word of my mouth. Abba! Abba! WE NEED YOU!

Why?

Because these are the last days. These are the last of the last days. The end has been near for 2,000 years and just as Art Katz said, if the disciples lived as though the end was immanent then HOW MUCH MORE should we?

We are on the cusp of needing every verse we've memorized, on the brink of needing every bill paid in full, on the edge of detaching from this world system in order to survive.

I admit I sound absolutely crazy right now. I think this is quite silly. But listen, what else is going to motivate you? What else is going to motivate me? Nothing but the immanence of God's kingdom. IT'S AT HAND! Jesus preached that everywhere. And we are to repeat this cry. The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand, repent and be saved!

Therfore, we are to live as though we are crucified with Christ. It is entirely necessary in the day we are in. Our lives are not our own and yet we live like they are. God is gracious to bless us with prosperity, jobs, houses, cars, but we need to be faithful to live for His Kingdom, not our own. With our actions, decisions and lives, not just our thoughts, words, and hearts.

The internal cry is LIFE ABUNDANT (John 10:10) eternal life (John 3:16) because to live is Christ and to die is gain. That internal cry needs to become an external action that moves us, that forces us to be a called out people. TO BE A CHURCH! With all our might! With all our strength, with all our earthly wealth.

What does this look like?

Practically speaking: make new decisions. Consider what you have now, what things aren't necessary? What can be removed? What can be changed quickly? What can be changed over 5 years? Getting out of debt? Moving to a smaller house? Selling some of your junk or luxeries?

Also, what should you be doing to prepare? Memorize scripture! So fill your heart with God's word that it sustains you when your bible is illegal.

All of this is very radical talk but I don't think it's too radical as to not be practical. I'm not saying the end is in 1 year, or even 10. But wouldn't it be nice to be prepared? God is motivating his people.

We are the instruments of his song on this earth. The tools of his harvest in this world. Let us not be dull or out of tune, but FULLY READY to proclaim, shout, and magnify the cry coming from the Holy Spirit now. Repent and be baptized for the kingdom of heaven is at hand!

ESFJ

2008-06-24T11:10:00.002-05:00

Quit hanging out at the gate!

2008-06-20T14:07:00.002-05:00

Matt 7:13-14
13"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

John10:7-10
7Therefore Jesus said again, "I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. 8All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.^[a] He will come in and go out, and find pasture. 10The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

The way to Heaven is a narrow way. The door to the Kingdom of Heaven is a narrow gate. Jesus states plainly that he is the gate and that all must enter through Him.

Well, last night I clearly heard God saying to me "Quit hangin' out at the gate!" Meaning, "Quit sitting there where you first came to know Christ, and ENTER the Kingdom of Heaven."

No more excuses, no more half-surrender, no more verbal submission. Only proclamations, full-surrender, physical submission, complete laying down of my life.

How?

Ask, Seek, Knock.

I ask the Spirit to guide me
I seek Jesus and the narrow way He set for us in his teachings and life.
I knock on the door of heaven until it's open so wide it's hitting the wall it's hanging on.

All I am, Jesus, for your Kingdom's cause.

What is Revival? (John Piper's words)

2008-06-19T08:55:00.003-05:00

Click here to listen

When I pray for revival my first prayer is Lord pour out your spirit in such a way that your people desire Christ more than they desire anything. Pour out your spirit in such a way that we are disentangled from the world and radically devoted and full of allegiance to Jesus more than we want anything in this world (a wedding, retirement, a child, a new job). Make us Love you Father, that's revival. Revival is not first miracles, like gifts of healing, it's not first prophetic utterances, it's not first speaking in tongues as precious as those things are. Revival is first a white hot love for Jesus Christ. That makes you ready to die gladly at any moment. And leave EVERYTHING behind for the surpassing worth of gaining Christ, that's revival.

It is possible to love the gift of healing and to love health more than we love going to be with Christ. It is possible to have the gift of prophecy and to have it and crave pornography more than we crave the second coming. It is possible to speak in tongues and to love your gold rings and your $1200 suits and your $40,000 cars more than you love the gain of death. Therefore never is it first those things in praying for revival, it's always first take out the heart of stone and make it a heart of flesh so that we love Christ more than ANYTHING. That leaving everything here if we might just gain Christ would be all our joy, that's revival.

God's Voice

2008-06-18T10:10:00.004-05:00

In front of me is empty highway for miles and miles, 11:30pm. It's dark, save for the pool of light my headlights cast in front of me. For some reason, maybe the prompting of the Holy Spirit, maybe the intuition of the sensitive, I hear in my head "Pull over and pray." I debate, in my head and a little out loud whether or not I should, and then I do. I signal to no one that I'm moving from the left lane, to the right, from the right lane to the shoulder. I sit and pray for about 30 seconds until I feel silly, sitting alone on the highway, in the dark.

No cars behind, no cars in front, nothing but blackness and that pool of light.

I drive back into the right lane, signaling to no one. About 200 yards down the road, in the median, in total seclusion, headlights dead, inside lights off, a state trooper. "Wow" I say, "Wow, God so that's what you sound like? I've always known your voice, but I don't think I thought it was yours."

This taught me a couple things. 1. Obey the traffic laws no matter what time of night it is. 2. And more importantly, listen for the prompting of the Spirit. Also, I like the spiritual picture of a dark highway with only headlights as vision. The path that God puts us on often times is a journey of obedience, with only the next step in sight. Whereas the path we try to get ourselves on is one where we can see for miles and know every turn ahead. How boring that is!

Knowing God's voice is the main lesson and the main goal of any believer. To hear it when you're on the street talking to a homeless person. To hear it when you're talking to a friend, when you're in line at a store, when you're alone in your car. When you're reading your bible. God gives us a taste of his presence and a whiff of his scent so we know he's near and we know what turn is next.

This morning during prayer we discovered through Chris Bressoud's insights that following God really is pretty simple. Like a tree our job is simply to soak in the illumination, the sunlight, of the Word and drink in the water of the Spirit. By being, not doing, we bear fruit. Of course we will be doing things left and right when we first seek the kingdom and God's teachings. But it's not our doing that makes us BE the way God intends us to be. It's our being that moves us to do what God is prompting.

Therefore, wait, watch, listen, and read. Mix this with obedience. You'll grow and bear fruit.

God bless.

New Goals

2008-01-03T00:06:00.001-05:00

I'm using a new piece of online software called joesgoals.com.

I'm very hopeful that it will create an atmosphere of efficiency in my life.

That is all.

Sweet, one more goal met! (I want to write in my blog daily)

State of mind

2008-01-02T00:59:00.000-05:00

I'm currently in an odd state of mind. To the point where I'm wondering exactly where I'll be, in terms of mind state, tomorrow. I don't want this feeling of euphoria and wonder to end. I know that if I go to bed it will all be different in the morning. If I don't go to bed, well it will be different in the morning too, because quite frankly I can't keep this going forever. However, I think there will be some change even if I do lose consciousness and awake again. I think something new will emerge. I think I understand now why my brother went through a stage of almost sheer insanity not too long ago. It was because he started to think about the world to the point where everything became understandable, everything was knowable, everything had a point and a meaning. Not to say that that can't be true in the ultimate sense, in the sense that God knows all those things. But for us humans, well, we have a state of being that keeps us from knowing and understanding everything. We are left here with a sliver of consciousness to find the meaning that God placed us here on earth for. Knowing and understanding everything can cause insanity, because having the answers to everything keeps you from accepting the possibility that you might be wrong. It can cause you to go in circles encompassing all theories into your theory until there's no more room for anyone else to come in and provide an answer, or even the truth.

This post is thus far devoid of spiritual benefit to anyone reading, but I think that's alright. What I think I want to write here is this, that life is amazing, that God is everywhere, that Jesus was super intelligent in every sense, and that the world is our canvas.

Poem I wrote from awhile back

2007-06-27T10:52:00.000-05:00

A catharsis of sorts creeps its way into my veins
A metamorphosis of course of which I can't hold back the reins
When all you have is words
When all you can give is time
A chariot rot with care and craft will carry it
A patriot of old for God and country will tarry not
To be the brave bearer of burdens of companions
Large and small
To rage within for the cause
To fight against tragic loss
A symbol of grace that fights for the whole human race
Through my God I will be
In and through that grace you will see
For the remainder
I will be no stranger
To the pain that Christ bore
In the rain battling for
The souls of those who make it a point to be
Not found
Underground
without sound
nowhere around
Eating dust
Craving lust
Judging unjust
Oh we all must
Be spurred we must
Spread the word we must
Get the unction
Learn to function
For soon that horrid thought
Oh that putrid thought
Will be real
The thought of the picture of the words
that is formed in my head
When someone will lecture the words
that are born for the dead
The words too late
Too late
Too late

The nature of reality

2007-04-25T09:40:00.000-05:00

One day I learned that the relative size of the nucleus of an atom to it's electrons is huge. There's a ton of empty space between the center and the electron cloud floating around it's outer edge. If an atom were the size of a stadium the nucleus would be a small marble in the center of it. If it were the size of the earth an electron would be less than 10 cm in size.

Now since we and everything around us are made up of atoms, if you were smaller than an electron you would pretty much be passing through empty space, all the time.

The next thing that kind of hits me after I start thinking about this is that matter is essentially compressed energy. Because of Einstein we know that E = mc^2. If you do some algebra you get m = E/c^2 or Mass = energy divided by the squared speed of light! So to me that means that matter is just energy or light slowed down by a factor of 186,000 miles per hour, squared or 34.6 billion times.

This might all be completely bogus but think about it a little, if God made light, then he could make solid stuff out of it.

So this gets me to the point that freaks me out. We're all just floating around on pretty much nothing. The only reason we don't fall through the floor or pass through objects is because everything around us is the same size as us and so we bump into it. We can open doors, walk on the ground, stay on the earth, touch people, all because of interacting electron clouds! We're basically floating around in and made up of solid light/energy/waves. Stuff that's slowed down enough to bump into other stuff.

If God hadn't congealed all this light we wouldn't have been able to interact with each other. We wouldn't be able to talk to anyone, or see anything, or move around.

The implications of this are amazing. We have been given the gift of a world that can be manipulated by the thoughts and actions we take for granted. With this matter around us that is basically nothing but clumps of light, we have an entire lifetime to use it for how God wants us to. There's no way we would exist without him, we too are made of nothing but this dust he formed. So what better way to thank him than honoring his will in being kind to one another, for we are here today and gone tomorrow.

Sensitive and blessed

2007-04-18T13:57:00.000-05:00

Hi. I've been not posting for almost a month now and well, I guess the name of this blog has sort of lost it's meaning. It's been a long day if this is suddenly a "blessed morning."

I am perpetually blessed by God even when I don't ask him to. Over the course of the last two weeks I have seen how God has taken me from really low to really loving him. More and more I understand that being loved and receiving love are two different things.

God loves me all the time, I don't receive it all the time.

One thing I've learned about feelings is that when you look forward and up while in a valley all you can see is the mountain, but when you're at the top you're able to look down and back and see everything. While in a low point I am never able to see that I will ever feel anything but low. While in a high place I wonder why I ever thought I wouldn't be happy again.

Feelings tell the truth only of the present. Wisdom tells the truth of all times, hence why it's hard for us to gain wisdom from single instances of pain or pleasure. We can only see what's here and now, here and now. God can see what's ahead and therefore know the truth of all times.

From a comment, a friend pointed out that God IS love. He be's love. Therefore him loving himself, loving Jesus and by extension loving us, is a matter of being, not a matter of choice. He IS and because he is, he loves us. God can't love something that isn't pure. Jesus made us pure. We're in Jesus. He loves himself, he loves Jesus, he loves us. It's a positional thing, a location, not an action. No amount of action moves that location in Jesus. We are in Christ therefore we are loved.

Also, I am sensitive. I realized this today. I've known it for a long time and it has been a weakness I never liked. However I think I've found a very wonderful purpose for it. In fact there are many purposes it serves. My sensitivity makes it hard for me to like alcohol, so I don't drink, or get drunk very much, which means my brain remains clear. My sensitivity makes me feel others' feelings, therefore I am more compassionate and can help heal hearts. My sensitivity makes me open to God's voice and his spirit, therefore I can hear the music he wants me to write, the words he wants me to say, the thoughts he wants me to put down.

My sensitivity is a blessing as much as I view it as a weakness. It's the grace God has blessed me with to never be able to shut my ears or my eyes to suffering. To never be able to ignore pain in others. To not despise the beauty around me. To not be so focused on just me or my world. I'm all ears, eyes, nose, mouth, and hands. I can feel because I'm sensitive to the air around me. So I will embrace that and thank God for it. Because without it, I wouldn't be who I am.

Invisible consequences

2007-03-20T13:19:00.000-05:00

Sin can go on for a lifetime and not seem to have any consequences, as I mentioned in my previous post. This is one of the dangers of sin. It masks itself as something that is "ok to continue." Only when the sin causes us some kind of pain, mental or physical, do we wonder what could possibly be wrong.

From my psych classes I learned that, in training an animal, the synchronicity of events matters. When you place a reward directly after a desired action, along with a neutral stimulus, eventually the desired action will occur in the presence of only the neutral stimulus. The famous example of this being Pavlov's dogs. Further studies were done and it was discovered that animals learn best only if the reward and the desired action are paired within a few moments of each other. With each successive moment away from that action, the animal has trouble associating the two. It's the same with us.

Until our actions result in a negative consequence we'll just go on glibly without remorse for them. Our conscience may get piqued, or our spirit may hear from God, but more often than not we ignore those warning signs. With each successive action without a consequence it becomes easier to justify, and easier to ignore the warnings. For example, I know that I need to go to bed early or I'll wake up tired. In fact I did this last night. I went to bed at 1:00am and had a real tough time waking up at 7:00. The consequence is so far apart from the action, and the justifications are so strong I have a real hard time associating the two, at least enough to take action.

Sin in some forms continues for years without a consequence. Michael Bahey, the man who founded Porn Nation (an organization to raise awareness of the dangers of pornography), didn't experience any extremely adverse consequences for over 10 years. He was married, had children and a great job. But then his addiction to pornography led subtly into an affair, which led to a divorce, which led to losing his family and job. He's an extreme case but there are other dangers that sin can easily manifest after years of no consequences.

So that's why I need to realize that I've been given a memory, an advanced mental capacity (in comparison to animals) and a consciousness in order to connect disparate events. I have also been given warnings, in the form of people like my parents, the form of words from the bible, and of examples in my own personal life. I can take action and change the things in my life, in the strength of Jesus redemptive power, to avoid the sufferings that come as a consequence of prolonged sin.

Without using those gifts that were graced upon us we won't learn without suffering. Not to say that suffering isn't going to happen if we don't sin, but much unnecessary suffering can be avoided by connecting events and heeding warnings.

So heed the rebukes you receive, listen to the warnings you hear, notice the examples around you, and learn from the previous consequences you have suffered. For just because you don't feel any pain now, doesn't mean you won't in the future. However, don't worry about these things as if they were all life and death, God will be faithful to put his finger on them in your life. The Holy Spirit will guide you as you allow him to search you and know your anxious thoughts.

Pride and who we are

2007-03-19T10:22:00.000-05:00

The first sin of man was Pride, "the movement whereby a creature (that is an essentially dependent being whose principle of existence lies not in itself but in another) tries to set up on its own, to exist for itself." (The Problem of Pain C.S. Lewis) We are entirely dependent on God to survive, whether or not we acknowledge it is up to our free will. The very fact that God allows free will means that we have been given the option to live without any contact with God. But the issue arises that since we are dependent on this "other" how can we expect to survive if we don't draw from it?

If we grew up in a Christian home, or even a moral home, our parents taught us to obey their authority so that, when we became of the appropriate age, we would obey the greater authorities. This was done in order for us to be law abiding citizens, or willingly say to God "here am I, send me." We understand obedience to God because of our obedience to God's authority wielders. In the same way, we were dependent on our parents for every need growing up. When we came to the appropriate age we became independent. Now, you would think that this would result in the same conclusion, independence from parents, independence from God. However, God calls us to grow ever more dependent on him. In fact the natural order that God intended was complete dependence in every aspect.

Adam and Eve in the garden had such a relationship with God, that involved giving up their selves, it was a choice but a very easy choice then. The concept of self was there but it was not sullied by the history of the human race, or tempted as such by the world system that is in place today. Yet, they had the same directive that we have today: die daily to the self that lies within in order to become more yourself. God designed us to be vessels, open containers, that give and receive freely to and from God. He designed all of humanity to live in such a way that nothing is owned, it is shared and given. I'm not advocating communism, I'm pointing out that we weren't meant to be independent.

The world around us is screaming for us to rely on no one but ourselves. To throw off any measure of authority that might hold us down. So no wonder it is difficult to realize how dependent we should be. I've been taught my whole life to create my own empire, to make sure that every action I take is beneficial to me and my kingdom. But my strength will eventually fail. Even if it never failed and I became rich and famous, my design would still be the same, I would still require the things that only my Designer can provide.

This idea of dependence makes it clear why Jesus said it was practically impossible for those with much wealth, to enter the kingdom of heaven. Since all their needs are taken care of and all their actions seem right to them, they will rarely come to a place where their independence from God is visible. Whereas those on the street corners, or living lives of debauchery, will more readily come to a place of need.

The problem with sin is that it works for awhile and for some their entire lives. It shades us in a veil of darkness, and only pain or suffering can ever wake us up from that, to turn to God. God humbly accepts us even when we come to him with nothing to give, because, well, we have nothing to offer except ourselves.

Living Sacrifice

2007-03-16T07:19:00.000-05:00

Romans 12

1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

John 12:24-26

“I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.”

I think there are enough people in this world that even if every Christian did this, it would still function. Even if every Christian gave up what they were doing and fully devoted their life to Christ, giving up everything to follow him, the world would go on. It would go on but it would be changed completely.

In this life we seem to be given a choice daily of whether or not we will follow our own will, or God's. And that choice in it's implications, grows bigger each time we refuse it. I think that if we follow God's will everyday when he eventually asks us to do something seemingly drastic or huge, it won't be as difficult. I don't speak from experience on that one, I just think it maybe true.

The world around us would change if we individually began dying to ourselves and serving others. Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed.
Our sacrifice creates many seeds that can fall to the ground as well and multiply. This principle is something that Jesus lived out to the fullest. Because of his death billions have been saved. Imagine if Jesus decided he wanted to just live for himself! Imagine if William Wilberforce decided he would just live for himself and not continually sacrifice to end slavery in England. Imagine if Paul decided to live for himself and didn't follow Jesus after he was struck down. Imagine if Mother Theresa hadn't decided to serve the diseased and dying in the streets of India.

Imagine and ask God where he can make you like these people. People who decided not to live for themselves and grow comfortable in their retirement funds. People who decided it was better to live on the street than let one person suffer. People who decided it was better to give up riches and minimal philanthropy to save thousands.

Imagine and believe God will change you to change the world.

An open letter to my sin

2007-03-14T07:37:00.000-05:00

Dear Sin,

We need to break up. You've brought me many hours worth of fun and good feelings. You've made me feel like a a rock star so many times, for awhile I thought I was one. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't know what mercy or forgiveness are. I wouldn't know what it means to have grace bestowed on me. But without you I wouldn't need any of those things. So I'm telling you this is the end. We have many better things we can do with our lives. You can go on influencing millions into the wide path to destruction, I've found someone new.

You can kind of say I've been cheating on you. I enjoyed our times together but, you see, you never satisfied me. I liked all the pleasure and highs that I got from you but they never lasted. You made me feel really awesome but then I felt really crappy. This other partner, well he doesn't do that to me. He treats me with respect. He doesn't always give me what I want but he does give me what I need. He gives me pure love, something I don't think you have a concept of. Sure you loved me, I know you did, but you never loved me enough to deny me anything that was ultimately bad for me. You just gave me everything and everything is too much.

Who is he? Well, to give you a hint, he created me, so he knows exactly the kind of love I need. He had so much patience for when I was with you. He let me see that you weren't going to keep me happy, even though it hurt me. He loves me that much. He could see that I would come back to him. Yes, back, I loved him before I loved you. In fact he loved me before I ever knew him. He wooed me before I knew I needed to be wooed. Then I followed your call and came running to you.

So please understand, I really liked our times together, but you need to leave. We need to never see each other, or talk to each other, or even think about each other. It will probably be hard on me, and I may come running to your arms again, but know that I won't ever stay with you. Your ultimate destiny is death. In fact you are dead, you just don't know it yet. So please stop calling me, stop writing me letters, sending me movies, and pictures, I'm done with you. I'm going to throw them all out so I won't be reminded of you.

Sin, I once loved you. I love another now, his name is Jesus.

rest in pieces,
-Dave

God is love

2007-03-13T07:48:00.000-05:00

What does it mean that God is love? Well from how I understand it, after reading the first couple of chapters of C.S. Lewis's The Problem of Pain, is that God is and always has been loving himself. For us to love ourselves it is looked down upon, at least to love only ourselves. For God though it is perfectly fine for him to love himself because he is the greatest thing in the universe. He is the most worthy to be loved of all beings in existence. So for him to love something else would be tantamount to calling that thing the greatest thing in existence. Now I don't mean that he can't love us because he certainly can, but he loves us because he died for us and covered us with himself, so by loving us under those conditions, he's still loving himself. (This might be off so please correct me if so).

Since God is trinitarian in nature he has been able to have a relationship even before there were creatures for him to have a relationship with. The father can love the son, the son can love the father and the holy spirit can love them both, and so on. Now I'm saying this in language that implies there is more than one God, but don't get me wrong, God is ONE. I think part of the mystery of God is understood by married couples. Though they are two, they become one. God is in perpetual oneness with himself.

Since God is the greatest thing to be loved, Jesus came to earth and showed us how to do the most important thing in the world, love God. He knows what is best for us and that is himself. Because of sin we were separated from the privilege of loving God. Jesus made that wonderful and necessary thing possible again and in doing so he was also loving God. By obeying his will.

People, since they are made in the image of God, try to get people to love them the same way that God tries to get people to love him. If you ever listen to a rapper, rapping about himself, he puffs himself up, he makes huge statements about himself, statements with no basis or purpose except to make him look good. God does the same thing, but his statements have a basis in a firm foundation and they have a high purpose, to make God glorious. It's OK for God to be selfish because he is the only self perfect enough to also have the wisdom to be selfless. See, the reason Jesus is so hard to imagine as God's son is because God is so much higher than us. He's so much more than us. He has justification for being selfish and yet he, as Jesus, came to earth and became the exact opposite that he has every right to be.

I thank God that I am counted among those able to talk to him. If it wasn't for his infinite effort to bring us into a right relationship with the father, I wouldn't even be able to breathe anymore. God's mercy spared my life and his grace gave me the gift of a beautiful friendship with the one who made me. Thank you Jesus for your love.

God's time and our time

2007-03-08T09:22:00.000-05:00

We have time here on this earth to live within. How we experience time depends upon many things, our nature, our nurture, our age, our health, our culture and our emotions. In the physical sense, time goes forward, always forward, never back, and at a seemingly constant (although observer dependent) rate. In the psychological sense time travels fast or slow depending on our physical state, if we're sick with a fever we may experience a slowing down of time. If we're really cold we may experience a speeding up of time. Time depends upon our age, when we were kids time was much slower. The ages 7 - 18 move much slower than the ages 18-29. We experience and learn much more over those first 11 years than we do over the next 11. So time is very flexible and very different from person to person.

For God time is something that he can observe from the outside. God dwells within an eternal unbounded NOW (according to C.S. Lewis) and therefore has no past and no future, he merely IS. We, however, are on a time-line. If you saw a picture of it, there would be a horizontal line representing time. It would have a beginning "in the beginning" and an end somewhere in the future. Eternity would be a vertical line that intersects time at one, single point. So time only has any relation to eternity where eternity is intersecting it. Since God is eternal he can intersect time at any single point, or all of them, and see what is happening in that NOW, for him all times are NOW.

The point of free-will comes to mind, since I was discussing it last night with a friend. The argument that "we don't have a free-will because God knows what we're going to do and can therefore know whether we will accept him in the future" can be debunked because of this knowledge. We all have a choice, during our time of life, to choose whether or not we accept Christ as God. God has no influence on that decision just because he can see if we are going to make it. He can just see it, in his unbounded now, he has no more influence on it than somebody watching us do something. He doesn't stop us or force us to choose anything just because he can see the results of those choices ahead of us.

Of course God does sometimes come directly into people's conscious experience and at that point they almost have no choice. That could be construed as "influence" but the people he does that to still have a choice to make whether or not they know it.

When Jesus was here on earth, being a man, he must have lost his unbounded now vision. He must have, for the first time, had to see as we saw. He must have needed to use the eyes of faith to trust, just as much as we need to, in the father's word. The spirit was there on him, the word was in his mind, but his limitations as a man forced him to be an example for us. If we can just learn to see through the eyes of faith and understand through the spirit of God, we can become more like Christ was on earth.

VotD

2007-03-05T16:45:00.000-05:00

Biblegateway put a new Verse of the Day tool on their website that requires less computer knowledge than usual. It's at this link.

Enjoy!

Strength and Endurance

2007-03-05T11:54:00.000-05:00

Jesus must have been the strongest man in the world, ever. Why do I say this? Well, this past weekend I spent a good portion of it in agony and misery. I woke up on Saturday early morning, like 5 am, and I had to throw up. I then went back to sleep, woke up, threw up, and repeated this a few more times. All day Saturday I lay on the couch, writhing, trying for the life of me to rest. My back hurt, my neck hurt, my head hurt, I had a fever, and I felt like I was dying. I've only had this feeling once before, and it was just as bad if not worse this time. So back to my point...

Jesus suffered that kind of pain and lived to make it to the cross, where he suffered more pain. He hung on the cross for 6 hours (ref.) and yet he stayed alive to endure it. I can't imagine the amount of strength that arduous task took to accomplish but I'm very glad he did it.

Isaiah 53:5 "...he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed."

Because of his suffering we can be healed here on earth. Because of his sufferings, our eternal souls are healed and restored. We will be reunited with our father in heaven because of the selfless love Jesus showed, and because of the strength God gave him to endure. The worst punishment conceived of by man and our savior went through it for us, such love I can't even imagine.

Tell me something...

2007-03-02T08:19:00.000-05:00

The following is my recounting of a story that was told to me last night. It's my imagination and probably not exactly what happened, but what I pictured in my head when I was told the story. I'm going to tell it in the first person, even though it didn't happen to me...

I had a dream last night that Jesus came to me. My relationship with God is very close now and I've done many things that I can thank God for doing through me. He brought me out of the closed world of a closed country, out of a box within a box, into glorious freedom. So when I saw Jesus, walking towards me, I was enamored with his beauty. I saw him, in my dream, walking towards me, bathed in a light that I can only describe as emanating from within. He walked with calm smooth strides taking each step with a strange mix of care and abandon. Each of his steps mesmerized me. I could not stop watching how he walked, how his arms swung so lightly at his sides, like tree branches in a spring breeze. How his heels struck the ground with each step as if somehow a Clydesdale and a mouse were contained in one being. How his broad shoulders shifted and inspired me. I could not take my eyes off of him.

Then I saw his face, the face of the almighty God, the face of Jesus, the face of the Holy Spirit. It kept changing, he was all three, all at once, but I could only focus on one at a time. It was almost like looking at an optical illusion, but somehow it was more real than reality. It was as if I were only a shadow in comparison to this actual thing, this glorious object before me. If all your life you only saw mannequins, strange yes, and you never had the opportunity to see yourself, never saw anyone real, imagine what it would be like to suddenly see another human! He was like the die from which all humans were cast.

I stared at his face as he walked toward me, awe struck by the novelty of his face. How his eyes remained steadily on mine, how his visage morphed and flitted through the aspects of his nature. I couldn't ask for anything more. I had all I wanted at that point, there was no need for him to come closer. If he just continued to walk toward me for all eternity I would be content just staring at how he moved. But he got closer.

As he drew near I felt questions welling up inside me, what might he want to tell me when he gets here? What does he want to say? I could see his nose, bigger than I expected and perfect. I saw his cheeks, full and rich flesh, like he had just finished running. I could almost touch his chin, stout and framed, without defect. And there his eyes pulled me in. I have no words to describe his eyes, they are ineffable, expressionless, beyond comparison to even his changing face. If I were to describe them, it was like diving into a crystal lake and when you hit the water, you keep falling, as if the water were air. Falling through water, falling through a galaxy of healing water.

He came to me and please don't think me blasphemous, he came to me and he knelt before me. The creator of the universe, the almighty, knelt down before me. The creator of all knows how to humble himself, but this was too much for me, so I knelt as well. I reached for his hand and he went to hold mine and the moment he touched me, eternity entered my soul. That's the only way to describe it. Eternity filled me. I don't know how it's possible for all of creation and infinite space to enter into the heart, but God made us that way. You could ask all the scientists and psychologists how that could be possible and they could never tell you. But I know that it's possible because everything went in, every bit went inside my heart and I felt satisfied.

While I was reveling in the glory of being filled he began to lean in. I knew he was going to tell me something. I know that God has plans for our lives, that he makes sure that everything we go through is under his control and his eye. So I had this thought that he was going to tell me my calling, what I was to do here on earth. I was ready for that. But God wanted to tell me something different. What he told me has to do with the fact that God can have anything. God can make an entire other earth, a whole other heaven, with angels and creatures praising him. He can form universes at the snap of his fingers. Yet the one thing he cannot simply create is our love. He can't force us to love him. If you were to go to a billionaire and talk with him, what could you possibly offer him that he can't have, that he couldn't just buy? Nothing.

Jesus leaned in, I felt his hair brushing my cheek, and felt his breath warm on my ear and he said to me "Tell me something romantic."

The machine

2007-02-28T08:51:00.000-05:00

I just bought the Oh! Gravity album by Switchfoot and listened to it all last night. I then listened to it again this morning. The lyrics are really good and I think one song has some thoughts that need to be analyzed.

One of the main things that Jon Foreman (the lead singer) says in his albums (the other ones have a similar message) is that the material world isn't all there is. Meant to Live boasts about "second life" and the innate feeling that "everything inside screams" for it. In Oh! Gravity the song American Dream speaks to the need for more in order to prove success.

When success is equated with excess
The ambition for excess wrecks us
As top of the mound becomes the bottom line
When success is equated with excess

We can't find new life this way. It's not the way to this life's greatest joys. Jon goes on in that same song to exclaim:

I want out of this machine
It doesn't feel like freedom

I do too. Freedom is "the power to act or speak or think without externally imposed restraints" and if we are acting on the compulsion that the more things we have the better we'll feel, well I point you to almost every celebrity. They have almost everything they want and how happy are they? I think that unless they're lying to themselves or have God in their life, they're not very happy.

Back when I learned about economics in High School, they gave me the definition of economics: "the efficient use of limited resources in the face of infinite wants." And that, my friends, is all our problem. We have infinite wants, celebrities have infinite wants, we all want, want, want and never stop wanting. If freedom is the absence of "externally imposed restraints" we will never find freedom unless we can fulfill our eternal wants.

People see those above them, those with seemingly everything they need, and assume that "if I can just get all that they have, then I'll be happy, then I'll be free." What happens when they get there? They realize, as many have, that when they get to the top of the ladder, it's leaning against the wrong wall. No matter how rich you get, no matter what possessions you own, no matter how much you strive for those things, you'll never be fulfilled.

Jesus offers (and is the only one qualified to) us a way to freedom. Let's face it, wanting infinitely is an "external restraint." If we could somehow lie to ourselves and say we didn't want those things, then that lie would be an external constraint as well. The only thing that can satisfy an infinite amount of wants is an infinite being. And the only thing that can be infinite and act towards us, is God.

So why do we search in finite things to stuff this infinite hole? Because we can't see another way. Because the correct way is often the hardest way. Because we're lazy? Maybe...but I think if we looked through the eyes of faith more often. If we saw that our wants were actually infinite, it would make sense that only an infinite being could make those wants go away, and make us truly free. John 8:31-32 "To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

Jesus offers a way, hold to his teaching and you will know the truth. Psalm 23:1 "The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want." What does a shepherd do, teaches sheep to follow him, to keep them safe. If you hold to his teaching you shall not be in want.

The cry of those in need

2007-02-23T09:06:00.000-05:00

There are many people in the world in need. I don't know the exact percentage but there are so many millions, if not billions of people who live on less than a dollar a day. That in itself is horrible and should be fixed with the resources we have. However, I'm not addressing the needs of the hungry and poor per se. I'm addressing those who have much spiritual riches and yet don't see the spiritual poverty around them. I am among the spiritually rich. If I could somehow check my spiritual bank account online it would just display an infinity symbol. Not, of course, because of anything I've done to deserve that, but because of what Jesus did for me.

Now because we have these riches and this life inside of us, we must give it away. In math, when you subtract anything from infinity, it equals infinity. So there's no need to worry about the amount we're withdrawing from our account, it will always be full. Who are we withdrawing for? The hungry. The needy. The tired. The thirsty. The ones who don't even know they are bankrupt.

They are crying out and the world has absolutely nothing to offer them. Mark, a new guy to our community, an old guy to the faith, said this last night and it hit me that it needed to be said again. We should hear a wailing from the universities around the city. We should see the desolation among the people of our generation. We have so many blessings. We have so much love surrounding us all the time. We are so RICH and we can't even see it. Jesus gave, he gave so much that what he gave 2,000 years ago is still giving!

Please then, please pray for your searching friends, for your hope-deprived buddies, for your worn out wanderers, for those you know need something they're looking in the wrong places to find. Pray for them and ask God to use you to bring them the truth. Bring them the life. Bring them the way. Before it's too late

A perfect sinner

2007-02-22T09:28:00.000-05:00

Last night I had a thought that is a little undefined maybe even wrong (so if I don't explain this clearly please ask for more). The basic words of it are "The only thing I know how to do perfectly is sin." I know how so well I could do it in my sleep, and I don't even know if that's possible. I had this thought and it got me to thinking, "What exactly is 'wrong'?" I know that the translation of sin "hamartia" in the Greek is "missing the mark." If you were an archer it would be equivalent to not hitting the target with your arrow. So doing wrong can be equated to sinning when it relates to God. We can do wrong by sinning, falling short of the mark that God has set up for us.

First of all, because of what Adam and Eve did, we are born with a "sin-nature" a predilection, a proclivity, a bent, almost a need to sin, and because of this we will, without God's help, always sin. And most of my life, because I've grown up in a Christian home, I've been perplexed by the fact that I can't make myself not sin. I can't, through my own will power, want the same things that God wants all the time.

Last night this thought, that I'm perfect sinner, hit me so solidly and I finally had it, something that made sense. This is it, I'm not somehow defective or created wrong or even hopeless. I'm exactly as perfect as I can be. I'm just following my nature, who I am without God, when I sin. The only reason that I feel guilty or convicted for doing the things in my nature is because, even though I am a fallen human, I also have a spirit in me that knows what is right and wrong. Because Adam and Eve ate of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, I have inherited that knowledge, it's written on my heart. I know that what I've done when I sin doesn't meet up to God's standards. So my conscience speaks loud and clear that I've sinned.

So what's boy to do? Although I'm doing what comes natural and I'm actually really good at what comes natural, I still feel guilty for it. How can I stop doing what I'm pretty much programmed to do? Call on the Lord. Call on my father and repent. Turn away from the sin and ask for Jesus to pull me out of that muck and mire. There's no way, on my own, I can get out of sin. It's like a man in quicksand, he can't escape from it and the more he tries the deeper he sinks in. But if he would just call out, reach out his hand someone else, who is on solid ground, can pull him out slowly and surely. Once he's out (to continue the analogy) he may be covered in mud but he's no longer sinking.

God sets a very high standard, a very small mark that is very far away, for us to hit. "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." (Matthew 7:13-14) We can't enter through the narrow gate without help. Jesus has made a way and only through belief and surrender to him can we enter in and commune with the father.

This knowledge is useful for everyone, even those who have been Christians since they were young. Jesus will always be there to pull us out. His spirit will always be available to change us if we are willing to surrender to it. Just call out, hold out your hand and be made clean.

Waking up

2007-02-21T09:36:00.000-05:00

I don't know about you but when I wake up in the morning it's a battle. My head is full of thoughts and none of them prompt me to find a way out of the covers. Even as I walk around my apartment getting ready to go I find myself repeating things in my head that I know are not true. Lies that hide the joy that I should be feeling. Things like, "Why are you late, again? Can't you learn to get up earlier?" or "Don't you love God enough to get up early and read your bible? You're some kind of Christian." I'll admit the things I hear aren't that harsh but they feel that harsh and I think it's a consequence of not living in grace.

Grace, that all encompassing word, it means so much, but how do we receive it so early in the morning? When our heads aren't even focused enough to put our feet on the ground, how do we receive an abstract concept? First let me define grace.

Ephesians 2:8-10 says "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

This states that grace is "not from yourselves" grace is a something that you can't do something to receive. It states that grace is the "gift of God." What is a gift of God? More importantly, what is a gift? A gift is "something acquired without compensation" or "A voluntary transfer of property for which nothing of value is received in return." So this would imply that a gift from God would mean the same thing. A gift from God is something that he gives us without compensation, some 'property' transfered to us where nothing, absolutely nothing of value is given to him in return.

So this leaves us where? Well, when the grace of God is given to us we, being human, want to have done something to have received this gift. We want to have a reason for God to have given us grace. But there is nothing we can do to make God give us grace. Grace is a gift, therefore you can't earn it. It would be like working at a construction site all day and walking up to the foreman and saying "Could you give me my gift now?" He'd have to say "Don't you mean your pay?" "No I want my gift, you see, I worked all day for this gift so I deserve it! Where's my gift!?" You can see the ridiculousness. Once you've done something for that foreman with the expectation to be given something, you've changed the relationship between you and him. You are no longer giftee and gifter, you're now employee and employer.

With God though, he gives because of what HE did. He went through the pain of crucifiction. He went through the torture of public humiliation. He took on all the sins of the world. He did and because that was Jesus' purpose, God gives us the gift of grace. It's a gift because we didn't die. It's a gift because we didn't take any punishment. It's a gift and all we are ever asked to do is receive it. How? By asking.

So when I wake up tomorrow morning I'm going to ask for grace. Grace that covers my short-comings, grace that washes away my pain, grace that heals my guilt, grace that soothes my heart and mind. I know God will give it to me because he died for me before I even knew I needed him to.

We are more than our bodies

2007-02-20T14:01:00.000-05:00

This weekend a group from the Fenway Church that I'm part of went over to Framingham, to the Marist house, to have a retreat. We had many times of singing to God and about God and a few times to listen to the speaker (David W. Hill). During the singing times we heard many things in our hearts from God's spirit. One of the themes that arose was how we, as a church, are many puzzle pieces joined together to make a beautiful picture. On our own we may look strange, with bumps in odd places, with curves that don't seem to be useful, but together, when all of us are exactly as we should be, we make a beautiful picture.

This idea mixed with the revelation from David W. that he, when he gets to heaven, will be a dancer for Jesus. And this idea makes perfect sense to me. You see I believe that because we are made to reflect the glory of God, that we are made in his image to shine his glory, then of course we will have purposes after we die. Purposes that on earth might not find their perfect outlet, but when we're there, in heaven, will be fulfilled. We'll suddenly know why we love to jump around and dance so much, like David figured out, we'll know why we love to travel, to make art, to build creative shapes, or to sing all the time.

Our purpose here in this life is to know God and to make him known, to bring him glory and we do this by living in the spirit, by obeying his commands (Psalm 119), and through our talents. The talents that God gave us are maximized in their potential by the whole "body" of Christ, the whole church working together in community. Not only are we fulfilling his purposes as we work individually but as we work corporately we magnify the effectiveness of what we've been given to do. This is a little obvious, of course "many hands make light work." But I'm trying to say that for some of us, our purpose is to build up the people within the church, for some it's to talk to people outside the church (more often than inside), and for others it's to play music or build houses. What our purpose is will become clearer when we are in a community of Jesus followers. And that is the exciting part, we get to be more of who we are the closer we get to each other. I can't stand feeling out of place and in the church, I don't have to. In the church we find our calling on earth and form our spirit for our calling in heaven.

Thus we are so much more than this blob of flesh and bones that people see on the outside. We are a glowing spirit that shines from its core the glory of the one who made us. The more we learn about that glorious one the more we become like him. I am so glad that I know who I am, I am a child of God, a puzzle piece in a picture of God, a brick in the building of the Lord, a cell in the body of Christ, and loved. I've wanted to know who I am my whole life and as I learn who God is, the answer to who I am going to be for eternity becomes clearer and clearer.

Obedience and God's Will

2007-02-16T08:58:00.000-05:00

John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

John 17:4 "I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do."

John quotes Jesus here in these verses and we can be very comforted by his words. This world is full of trouble, and by trouble I mean major and minor inconveniences. Major being the things like deaths, divorces, break-ups, and catastrophes. Minor being hangnails, lost wallets, lost cell-phones, weather, and embarrassments. Jesus tells us to take heart in those situations, because he overcame the world. How did he overcome the world? By being obedient to God's will. Jesus came into the world for a specific purpose, to satisfy God's justice, to allow God to be fully just and fully merciful, and he fulfilled that purpose by being obedient to God's will. Instead of taking the throne by force, he took it by humbleness.

How do we remain obedient to God's will? Well this is a question that has racked my brain for some time. Not that I'm old or anything but I've thought about it for years. Last night, I think I finally received the answer.

First off, God wants us to be in a relationship with him. He wants us to be near him and in communication with him. He made that possible by sending his son to die in our place, to be sacrificed in our stead. Because of that we can be near to God even though we are sinful beings.

Second off, what did Jesus do while he was on earth? He remained in constant communication with his heavenly father. He prayed to him, he listened to him, he fasted and he just spent time with him, alone. Then he went out and glorified God. In God's name and with faith in God he healed people, he forgave sins and he restored people to fullness. So in John 17:4 he tells God what he was doing here on earth (not like God doesn't know, but for our benefit) he says "I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do." He was bringing God glory by doing the things he did.

Thus he had a relationship with God that blossomed into a radical healing power that brought glory to God in heaven. In that whole time do you think that Jesus was in God's will? Of course! Then there's the answer!

To know and work in God's will we must be obedient to God every single day. The things that seem the simplest, praying, reading our bible, talking to God, being with him, are actually the most important. Therefore I think that these areas are the most attacked, the most fought against and the most difficult things to do. Even when we're doing them we are discouraged by thoughts of futility: "What's the point of reading the bible today, I'm not getting anything out of it?" or "Why am I praying, I have to get to class/work/etc?"

The key to turning into a person like Jesus, a person who can heal the sick, raise the dead, speak words of love, and bind up emotional wounds, is obedience. The key to becoming powerful in God, is humbly sacrificing a portion of every day. So, as David Hill senior has been saying recently, make an appointment to meet with God every day. Make that appointment and keep it. Keep it like you would keep a doctor's appointment or an appointment with a celebrity or politician, or someone important. Because after all, who is more important than God? If you do you may be discouraged, attacked, or downtrodden, but take heart Jesus has overcome the world.

Thoughts and the animal I am

2007-02-15T07:59:00.001-05:00

I know that some of you reading this don't believe in evolution and I am not one to disagree with you, I don't either (I believe in Micro-evolution not Macro-evolution, but that's a different blog). However, the point I would like to make this morning involves agreeing, at least for a moment, that we are animals in some regard. That God, while making us, possibly used some of the design that resides in animals' circuitry, in us. He gave us all a brain that, I've learned from my psychology classes, can be taught things. Just as a dog can be taught to sit. I came to this conclusion many times before but one particular morning not too long ago I realized something that helped me understand myself. It requires a bit of back story...

I have a boot in my apartment that holds the door to my room open. The door, if the boot is not present, closes by itself and is sort of inconvenient, so the boot is necessary. Whenever I want the door to my room to close I kick the boot out of the way as I walk in and the door, quite conveniently, closes by itself. Thus by having the boot, I've turned a hassle into a blessing. Lemons-lemonade. The first time I kicked the boot and I noticed the door closing, I was actually a little frustrated. But then as I realized how nice it was that the door closed itself, I began telling myself to kick the boot as I walked into my room. This was essentially a reward. Telling myself to let my foot hit the boot was equivalent to Pavlov giving his dogs food. So now, whenever I walk in, I kick the boot. I've taken a small, accidental motion and turned it into a learned response.

Now I think we do this with everything. And this is why I say we are animals. I believe we have a spirit inside us that controls this animal, this body that we cart around, and I believe it's flawed. I say it's flawed because, well, look at the world. We've taught ourselves that whatever feels good is what we should do. We've taught ourselves that listening to our elders is antiquated or old-fashioned, repressive, even just plain wrong.

All this is to say, we need help. We can try to make it through life teaching our animal bodies to do what our spirit wants, but we are still going to fail. This is why new year's resolutions fail, why people go to the gym but then stop, why people can't quit smoking, why drinking is such a hard habit to quit. We have no resources in our own bodies to make this kind of behavior stop. The animals that we are are sick. Back at the beginning of mankind we made a choice to depend only on our animal resources, our own brains, to make a decision and it worked. But now we can't seem to pick anything else. We can't make ourselves decide something other than disobedience to God.

But thanks be to God who leads us in his power! We have the victory. We can be obedient. We can make one choice that will make all other choices possible. Namely, Jesus. Jesus died for the disobedience our great-grandparents committed. Jesus broke the sin that trapped us in a circle of shame and bad decisions. Because he died we can ask him to come into our messed up animal and make it pure again. We can be given his spirit to control this body's decisions and his infinite resources will help us make the right choices. The choices that break us free from addictions like alcohol, drugs, pornography, fantasies, food, cigarettes, etc. The spirit of Jesus Christ in us can make a way where there seems to be no way.