This week I removed caffeine from my system over the course of the last 6 days. I went down 4 ounces a day until today where I had just 4 oz. Tomorrow I will have none. It's been kind of rough cutting caffeine and still taking care of kids. They need me to be energetic and awake and all I could think about was sleeping. I did end up going to bed at 9 one night, right after the girls went to sleep, so I could recover from my lack.
The hardest day was Monday because I fasted the entire day and only drank one cup of coffee. Then we went to the prayer and worship night with all three girls, while Kelly spent 2 hours on stage. I was hungry, tired and bedraggled, but loving almost every minute of it.
This is all in preparation for fasting in the future. I want to fast once a month and I'm going to ease my way into it. First only fasting 1 meal, then 2, then 3. Then I'll increase it to 6 and then 9 in the first week of each month. I don't really want to go beyond 3 days of no food. I think that's plenty.
This week I also memorized Psalm 139:1-4. It went quite well. I wrote it out each morning, trying to remember as much as possible each time. Today I ended up just typing it over and over again until I had it committed to memory. Now I can recite it out loud, which I did for Kelly. It's wonderful having the word in your heart. The words can be analyzed and mulled over. For these verses I was able to see how God knows every part of me and all that I do, think or say.
Oh Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue
behold, oh Lord, you know it altogether.
God searches me and knows me down to the deepest part of me, to my soul. He knows where I concentrate and spend my time, and when I stop and leave. He knows every thought I have. He knows where I will go and where I will sleep even when I will die. He knows every way I will go. Finally, He knows every word I will say. He knows everything about me, thoroughly.
I'm excited for the next weeks and for all I learn from the words I memorize. Also, I'm looking forward to other disciplines God puts into my heart. Ways I can implement into my life that will give me a closer and more rich experience of the Trinity and their love for one another.
Father God show me your love and how you love the Son and Holy Spirit as you love yourself. Show me how to love Jesus that same way, that we may be one even as you are one.