Monday, August 26, 2013

How to get up early or What's that noise at 6:00am?

You've come for the coveted knowledge. The "How-to" guide on how to get up early. You're here and boy are you not prepared. Strap yourself in because the ride is going to get bumpy. Here comes the bomb-splosion.

You set an alarm.

But seriously folks! How do you get up early? Well, let's define early. I allude to 6am in my title and maybe 6am is early for you, but maybe 5am is early. I don't know, it could be 8am is early. When you have a baby ANY time is early because you haven't slept in 14 days and just opening your eyes is a fountain of frustration. So let's say you want to get up at 6 and you don't have a baby. I envy this hypothetical you. You can go to bed whenever you so choose and during the night you won't hear the frustrated cries of an infant who's lost its binky.

Step 1: Determine a wake-up time that is suitable for the amount of activities you'd like to accomplish in the morning. If you're morning consists of getting dressed, moving your hair into a respectable configuration, and walking out the door, then you probably only need about 15 minutes. If you require food, coffee, time to drink that coffee, a shower, tooth-brushing, bible-reading, blog-writing, bill-paying, cat-petting and dog-relieving; you may need more time.

Step 2: Set your alarm for that time.

Step 3: Get up when that alarm goes off. This step is infinitely difficult. Beyond any amount of difficulty you will face in war, famine, genocide, oppression, dictatorship or jail. Your morning-mind is a punk. You can argue with it for hours and never act. This is why I like to formulate little phrases for myself for getting up in the morning. Phrases that counter-act my mind's unassailable logic. Logic that keeps me in bed indefinitely.

  1. You forgot to turn off the stove
  2. There's a spider under your pillow
  3. You're two-hours late
  4. Stop being a little kid, get out of bed

These phrases play on fear and shame. You have to get down to your lizard brain in the morning. Your human-brain has figured out how to sooth you through hours of hallucinations. You have to snap it out with a fresh unavoidable slap in the amygdala to get you going.

Step 4: Do this every day until it becomes a habit.

What's that noise at 6am? It's your alarm, and you forgot that Monday isn't a holiday this week.

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